Neville Goddard might be a good place for you to start. He was called "The mad mystic of 47th street" back in the 1940s/1950s in NYC. He deals more with being what and who you want to be while in the process shedding light on what many key words in the bible really mean (God, Jesus, Christ, Sin, Repent, Heaven, Hell, etc.).

You can find thousands of YouTube videos (audios) of him speaking back in this time period 1950s through early 1970s. You can FEEL his sincerity and truth emanating from his voice. It will be clear to you. All his books can be found online for free now too but can also be purchased if you prefer holding the book in your hands over reading on your computer screen. I recommend "At Your Command" and "Feeling is the Secret" as a good start.

Another great author who goes deeper into the mysteries of Christianity is Joseph Benner. I recommend "The Impersonal Life" and "The Way Out" for starters.

Many woman I know felt a huge resonance with Joel Goldstein's book "The Infinite Way". He is considered by the establishment to be a "practical mystic". His material is a bit deeper, perhaps hard to digest than Goddard or Benner.

If you're familiar with channeling and not scared-off by it, these are three of my favorite books from the Christian tradition, each building on the other.

1. A Course in Miracles (Helen Schucman)
2. The Way of Mastery (Shanti Cristo Foundation) {My favorite}
3. A course of Love (Mari Perron) {newest and most heart-based}

All of these are said to be the channeling of Jesus (Jeshua), the newer referencing the older. It's super-powerful material and I can assure you, not what you're likely expecting. I purchased all the audio flie channelings from Shanti Christo Foundation back in 2010 and listened to them countless times for the next 5 years, learning something new each time I re-listened. Perhaps no body of work has transformed me more than these. Worth every penny if you're truly ready to dive into the truth of Christianity as was taught by Jesus and known by the Essenes and early Christians before Rome got a hold of it.

Anyway, amongst these options I promise you'll find at least a few that you fall in love with, if not all. These all teach deep spirituality through the Christian tradition.

If you want the absolute deepest, most powerful, most humbling material available (which almost nobody does) you can go straight to the "end game" as I call it. But I highly recommend you warm up with all of the above for a few years first. Then, when you've deepened your faith to such a degree, you can try one of these two options:

1. The Cloud of Unknowing (anonymous)
2. The Complete Mystical Works of Meister Eckhart (Meister Eckhart)

These last two are not for the feint-of-heart. Just save the names and perhaps come back to them in a few years if you so choose after learning from some of the other teachers.

If you forced me to pick one of the above, it would be "The Way of Mastery" by a landslide. I've bought this book for well over 25 people over the years. It's the most gentle, yet powerful introduction IMHO.

Good luck and I'd love to hear what you chose some day should you care to reach back out!

Blessings