Fren God loves you more than u can ever know. He knows everything about u. He still loves u. His grace is sufficient. We are made strong in our weakness because he becomes our strength. Keep working on praying when times are rough and good. That's why I suggested a daily time. Regardless of how ur feeling give him 1 min a day. It will grow. U are human in a fallen world. God knows all this. Yet he doesn't judge us by our sin rather through his grace we are saved. Dont make it about u because truly I am just as corrupted and lost as u. Even though I pray more based of what u have said. U have a seeking heart. Alot of your own inner darkness comes out when u turn to him. Just keep turning to him. I will say this again. God loves you more than u can ever know.