Additionally what the hell happened to scottymar10!?!? I read he passed in the comments of his last video!?
Sorry that was a jumbled mess. But its alot to think about it suppose.
Thanks for this. I do wonder how I will make the leap from not thinking about it selfishly, as it's implanted in my head, that each time it is to worry. I'm working on it for sure. Thanks again.
Thanks. I try. There's a lot of bad in my life. There's also a lot of good. It's hard to sometimes be grateful. I'm working on it.
That's a good way to look at it. I'll try that more often.
This, everytime I listen or watch a video on it, it seems so unnatural, or so forced. Same with a lot of the reason I was turned away from the churches. It's hard to know who seems honest, or who's spewing something they dont even believe. I worry about judgement day, but it seems selfishly and I genuinely dont know how to make it not seem selfish. Same with praying, I pray to try and make myself feel better or feel like it's a way to save me from the bad things I've done. It never seems honest in fact it feels fake. I hate it but I dont know how to change it.
That's a good start. Thanks for the tips
Thank you all for your replies. I do appreciate it.
That's a good way to look at it. Thanks!
I will work on this. I feel ashamed I typically try and talk because I've done something to feel guilty about, then I feel guilty as if I used him to feel less guilty. It's a bad feeling
I will definitely look into it. I dont want to join the wrong place and honestly this conversation is helping. I know I'm not alone. And it feels good to talk about it. It worries me as I dont comprehend the writings. Thanks for the response.
Thank you for the advice.
Thank you, I will definitely check out Christianity group, and if you can help me out on the prayer group. I'm set on changing. This is hard for me as I typically try to reach Jesus when I know ive done wrong, and it makes me feel guilty or makes me feel like I'm doing it to save face. This is probably why I feel like he's not listening or there for me. Even though I know he's listening. It feels like the cold shoulder and I genuinely dont blame him.
I'm watching right now. He seems very intelligent. I dont know how I can be like him. Or more so. I'm a vulgar person with tons of flaws. I'm filled with hatred even for those I dont truly know. Its a horrible feeling. But dont know how to change. Mindset is first and I'll tell you I'm weak there
How do you pray? How do you feel like you are truly talking to someone? A lot of the time it feels empty like I'm talking to no one. It's lonely. I wish I could have an experience much like those I see where people say they really have had an experience. Additionally I feel like I often ask of him in regret or in some ways selfishly even though I dont mean to only call on him when I stray.
Not thoroughly. Is there something I'm missing. I got into it late and had trouble piecing it together. I was a major doomed early and we'll later also. Thanks for the quick response
No, I try to stay pretty "moralized" regardless, I analyze things for myself often. However it's easy to get demoralized if you realize no-one is coming to help us. Now, I know WE need to be able to help us, and realistically shouldn't be waiting for a "savior" other than the 1 and only savior. But if a collective just says hold on help is on the way it makes it pretty shitty to hear one of the guys you thought was part of this say no help is on the way. For if that's true, we all are doing nothing in the scheme of things and we should be acting not trying to vote harder. I know how cliché, and what a fed post.
True, guess I was just hoping to hear it wasn't something he said.
Stealing this!
If i find it again!
Thats a great idea. I have lost alot of my life in numerous ways. So it seems I am acting out childishly to fulfill that lack of childhood. To make matters worse I was constantly bombarded with negative things in the last 5 years or more. Im not sure what my outlet will be, but Im going to try.
Thank you, and congratulations on making life better on yourself. Im certainly going to try
Its scary for sure, the shit you do when you're under the influence. I really appreciate the advice and will take it into consideration. Honestly its easy for me to say never again after those kinds of nights i can't even count how many "never agains" it has been.
I am now understanding this. It's exactly what i deal with. It was always easy to tell myself i wasn't an alcoholic because i seriously hardly drink until im drinking.
Damn. Thats terrible.