If you told me before 2014 that feminists would wreck my views on equality, be ostrasized by race in 2016 and by 2022 find a path towards Jesus through some "nutball" community deciphering hidden messages in our news, I would have told you you lost your mind, and probably avoid all of that being aware of what was once told to me.
But that is what happened to me. And I am looking back at everything and noticed a lot of small questions or moments brought me ever so closer to where I am now. And honestly, most of it has happened here, on GAW.
I originally thought you guys had some crazy notions, long before .win communities were a thing, then I came to realization that Trump looked... Accurate to previous "drops" you all called them. I eventually found out truths of Trump's actions and eventually moved from independent liberal to a conservative, cause I hate any abuse to children. He was protecting them hand over fist. Eventually TDW was struck down and heard GAW knew this was coming. The more I orbited you guys directly, the more I became open to what is truly happening. And I did something I never thought I'd do; review my lack of relationship with God. I started going outside at night and just, talked to the sky? I didnt know if anyone would hear it, eventually I started becoming more and more of a believer, was being shown things about the evil in this world. What it wants, what it has, just tastes. Now, I am by no means some "born-again" type, but I am working that relationship more each day, trying to kill bad habbits and replace them with more constructive ones.
Before I just kept going home, and mindlessly playing video games and lament on the lost opportunities I had when I was a college kid. In a year's time I have turned it into a gaming themed podcast with a friend and further still learned a new craft of making wing sauces and glazes. Before every recording, before every sauce cooked, I have now had a habbit of praying and thanking Jesus for the small amount of time given to give me solace and move my newfound gifts forward.
I won't be advertising any of my stuff, thats not what this is for. But today marked some small milestones for me. The FDA is ready (cause our jacked state requires it) to review my kitchen for a professional sale of my sauces and my podcast channel is seeing an oddly larger uptick (by no means its huge). Two victories that would have never been seen if I just stuck to the TV and beat my next major RPG or some crap.
And honestly, I dont think much of my personal life changed for the better during this time. But my perspectives and beliefs have, my stances have. And it's more because this community is making me see stuff in me and my world I would have never thought before. And we are truly the grassroots of this awakening process. And my works will indeed reflect this.
And to you all; Thank you guys for giving me the proper seeds to grow. I will continue to do what I can to better this country.
That's one thing I noticed greatly. Before this all it was just my dog and I. She was my everything and could not trust anyone to take care of her but me. And when she was gone, I had plans to go with her. I honestly did not see a future for me. It was quite empty, truly empty.
But she is holding strong after 17 years, and in those days to now I met and married a lovely wife, and now have 4 dogs with intent for children. And my empty time I filled with gaming is now more than that. I always had a penchant for game design, and now there is a purpose for it, and further still a creative outlet that so many can enjoy through food. That feeling comes back every now and again, but it creeps up and slinks away all he same.
Now I am not saying my life is in shape, this is still a fumbling process and I want people to know this isn't a lightswitch moment, and I will likely continue to stagger about till I have sure footing. But honestly I have never been in such a great place in my life.
And someone said something that resonated with me today; "Darkness can't stand before God's radiant gates."
Even going towards that goal, the darkness cannot keep up. Tells me I was right in saying something here today.
God bless you, fren.
and I'm going to remember that quote, "Darkness can't stand before God's radiant gates."
Your beautiful post brought tears to my eyes. SO wonderful to know your heart , mind & spirit are rising up to a higher vibration. May God bless your happy family, wife and furbabies!
Keep talking to the sky! 🙌