Just don't let santa talk you into taking yur own life because then the pain will only get worse. Pray, all the time, ask God to ease or help you carry the load, he already said he would. My load got so heavy after my family left that I gave away my brother's house, happily. I had too many houses to handle. I was left with the stuff of over 5 people to deal with. And I have found it is hardest for people who love me accept the help I give them except on Christmas or Birthdays. One of my nieces refused to cash a check I sent until I told her "Pretend it is Christmas" . I don't usually give on Christmas for that reason. Just more conditioning we need to get over. My friends and I lately are learning and when we are giving our gifts now. If you get them what they need, why do you have to wait to give it to them, that's just mean. Before my family left, I got a raise to $1400 a month and I was happy, their money and its responsibilities became a crushing burden. I have changed the way I run my rentals. When I need to find someone to rent, I ask the tenants that have to live with them if they have any friends or family that need a place. Now if a one they suggest moves in starts to treat me bad, they defend me. I am getting ready to rent a house and my inspection after being so sick. I changed the way my helpers get the house ready. I tell to make it a place that you would want your 3-year-old to live in. My rents are the almost the lowest in town, and my houses are not. I made more money by not evicting my friends than those that did evict. Right now, it costs a lot more to have a house empty than one not paying rent. I now have to pay someone to live there, $50 a night. My tenants do all the little stuff and call if they need help. I no longer have to pay to have their cooler maintained ever. They patch them themselves; the old ones are better than the brand-new ones out of the box. I keep lots of parts and they can come and ask me before going to the store. I don't raise the rent unless I have to, because of the Gov't. I show them notices I get that affect them. so, they know the raise in rent is coming and why. I get my lumber cheap because I ask them first and many times, they know of someone who would sell to me fair price. The price they ask me is almost always too low and I pay more than they ask. The guy that does my tires was thrilled to receive a nice tip. I asked friends about someone to fx my air conditioner on my car. I got a professional at my home for 3 days, he completely rebuilt my heating and cooling system. When he gave me the bill my mouth hit the floor, he charged me less than $2000 for everything. Most of that was for parts. I made him go back and write me a new one that was at least double.

TOGETHER WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH. I have added you to my prayer list and will share with my friends for God to give you the strength you need and lighten your load in the way you need. God bless and listen for the answer