When I look around me NPCs are doing better than me. Even though I believe I was never fully NPC in the past.
You would think being aware about what’s going on in the world, you would have a sense of freedom.
I also got hit really hard by the covid fiasco mentally. Just by seeing all those NPC around me championing all the restrictions, made me feel very lonely for a while. Because my mind was and is not the same as theirs. If I would speak out what’s in my mind I probably wouldn’t have any friends surrounding me anymore.
I’m not being myself, I’m being fake, so that the NPCs would accept me. The fake me is the person that they like about me and want hang around with.
I totally lost all joy in life, my addictions became heavier over the last two years, the last months I’m doing better to quit them.
But being sober all the time brings back all those bad feelings. I’m not even able to focus on loving someone. My friends think I’m low energy. But the addictions kept me that way.
And the question “What am I even doing here on this planet” start roaming in my head again.
When I have good times, I get upset that some others don’t. Do I even have the right to pray to God for more and more, while others are begging for food and are sleeping on the streets.
Does God even care about me? If he does, than does he cares about the others as well?
Life just seems not fair for the majority people on earth.
Those feelings hold me back to advance my own life. While dreaming about all those cool stuff you can do on this earth.
Just being aware of so many things made me very destructive towards myself.
Is there someone who can relate? Were you able to get your lust for life back?
Tolle is fine if he's your cup of tea. I have no issues with what he generally says.
Think about where all the money goes and all the effort to keep your attention focused on their creations. The list is endless. Entertainment, distractions, movies, TV, video games, social media, etc. etc. etc.
The cabal expends all their money and resources to keep our attention. It couldn't be more obvious if you stop and choose to notice. They need us. We don't need them. This, more than anything else, they do not want you to know.
Have a look at television and movie edits through the decades. From 1940 to today. In the early days, they held shots for 30-60 seconds. Then it was shortened to 20 seconds, then 10, then 5, then 4. Today the dominant edits are 2-3 seconds. This is to keep your mind engaged and your thoughts disjointed and frantic. You can take this to the bank.
Turn off your TV, watch no movies of any kind for 3-months. You will then be able to sense the change in your balance, stability and awareness. This is all the proof you'll need.
Your attention is your greatest asset. And the cabal wants it on their offerings.
Meditation is the best thing you can do for yourself to break free from the monkey-mind, and therefore the illusion. The list of benefits are endless - health, finances, relationships, etc. If you can truly learn to witness your own thoughts instead of identifying with them, you will be liberated to a level you can hardly yet imagine. The "truth" is experiential, not intellectual. "Presence" is the EXPERIENCE of the "truth", which is beyond words/thoughts.
I would encourage you to keep following this trail...