I feel the same and I’m glad I’ve had this type of personality my entire life. I’ve never gone by social norms, I’ve never even felt like I was being submitted to peer pressure of any kind, never cared what others thought of me ( I was a new waver/punk) in a school full of rednecks, and always did things a little differently than my peers. I was asleep as to how corrupt the government was until about 1998 though. That’s when I went to a counter rally of the million mom March and supported the second amendment sisters. After engaging brain washed women of the million mom March someone handed me an independent conservative newspaper which had a major article on how the Oklahoma City bombing was an inside job. That lead me down many rabbit holes. I consider that the day I became fully awake.