I am far from perfect as many are. Over the past year or two I have been trying to find religion. However, I've noticed Ive been trying to find a religion that justifies my poor decisions or hateful/disgusting outlook on life. Telling myself, there's no way pedophiles should be able to walk among us, and into the woodchipper I should throw them. People who harm children or others violently should die at my hands or another vengeful persons hands. I always looked to tell homosexuals and trans that they are disgusting, sick, and wrong. Ive berated liberals, democrats, and Republicans, with bias to conservatives. I've noticed that I constantly feel like I have a moral high ground as I shout, don't kill babies, fags shouldn't exist and someone should tell them, fuck joe biden, fuck this fuck that. To be honest it felt great, Its almost like I was using others as a stepping stool to get up on my high horse. Our whole existence is very short lived on this floating ball ripping through space. Yet I spend it angry at the the Bill Gates and Soros's of the world. In my head demanding punishment for their actions. It's hard to not want harm on them for what they do to the world, but I don't know what should happen to them. These thoughts boil all the way down to my own trauma throughout my personal experiences in my home life. I want to change but don't even know where to begin, I don't truly know right or wrong even when it seems evident. I hope the higher power that be help me discover a path forward. For eternal suffering sounds far beyond miserable, and I would love to see my deceased relatives again.
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Religion isn’t what you need. A personal relationship with Jesus is what you need.
Jesus is the only Son of the one true living God and he came and preached love, truth, righteousness, he healed the sick and raised the dead (literally), cast out demons and came to save the most lost, broken, sinful, evil and hated. Jesus died in a cross to take away our sins and rose again three days later that whoever would deny himself, repent of their sins and ask him into their heart to be their Lord and Saviour would have eternal life.
John 3:16. for God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.
Isaiah 53:5 But He was pierced for our offenses, He was crushed for our wrongdoings; The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him, And by His wounds we are healed.
Might I suggest you download the Angel channel on tv or phone and watch The Chosen series. It is about Jesus choosing His first disciples, what He preached and the kind of people He chose (the least and the lowest, the lost, broken and the hurting). It also covers the miracles He performed and casting out of demons. Those same miracles and powers, He granted to His disciples upon His death and resurrection. God now grants to those same powers to many of His living Saints and Disciples today.
Acts 2:16-17 But this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: ‘And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, That I will pour out of My Spirit on all flesh; Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, Your young men shall see visions, Your old men shall dream dreams.
Mark 16:18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”
Luke 10:19 Behold, I give you the authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and upon all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you.
I forewarn you though. A life forgive and redeemed in Jesus though is a life of freedom in Christ with eternal life and a Saviour who will never leave nor foresake you does not mean a life of ease. Satan will attack you with his demons and it’s up to you to learn to fight but as a righteous (no not self righteous) saint in Jesus, you will have the needed weapons supplied here to fight. Ephesians 6:10-18 The Armor of God
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
I encourage you to build yourself a chart from this and carry notecards until you memorize them.
Also; Matthew 17:20 He told them, “It was because of your lack of faith. I promise you, if you have faith inside of you no bigger than the size of a small mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move away from here and go over there,’ and you will see it move! There is nothing you couldn’t do!
And; James 2:14-26 Faith Without Works Is Dead
14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without [a]your works, and I will show you my faith by [b]my works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! 20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is [c]dead? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? 22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made [d]perfect? 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was [e]accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. 24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.
25 Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.