My father passed in Nov finally of dementia but also heart disease. He was 85. His death for me was very hard to witness.. but he was dying, and couldn't eat or take fluids at the very end. I allowed him to have some morphine at the very end - he was already mottling and hospice really was kind and helped.
My poor Dad had violent outbursts in his last month. He broke down a door. He pushed a patient out of their bed and destroyed his room. We ultimately had to relent to some psych meds just to keep him contained. I really didn't want him on meds but sometimes you just have to use them. It's all about balance, and using drugs wisely.
It was awful to see him like that...and he too got so thin towards the very end. But I researched the dying process and learned about everything you mentioned above. About a week or so before he died, you couldn't get him to eat or even really take fluids - he'd push it away. I learned that if we forced liquids on him he'd aspirate and suffer more. I guess it's about understanding when someone is "actively dying" vs. not - and that was all new to me. I had to learn about this as it's not something most of us even know about!
I was very grateful for the hospice team - they were incredibly kind and helpful. Thanks for your comment too - it's good for people to know the difference between actively dying and a person who isn't dying.
Thank you. I reserve commenting on the deaths in facilities during COVID, because I've been told there were financial incentives for COVID deaths, and although I hate to think that medical personnel would actively kill someone, I can't say it wasn't done. I found the refusal to allow families to be present and advocate for patients was reprehensible. I was a hospice nurse for several years and found that there are a lot of people who truly believe that hospice nurses are running around killing people with unecessary overdoses of morphine. While I understand that those people may have reasons to believe that, I try to educate people on what in-home hospice care really is.
My father passed in Nov finally of dementia but also heart disease. He was 85. His death for me was very hard to witness.. but he was dying, and couldn't eat or take fluids at the very end. I allowed him to have some morphine at the very end - he was already mottling and hospice really was kind and helped.
My poor Dad had violent outbursts in his last month. He broke down a door. He pushed a patient out of their bed and destroyed his room. We ultimately had to relent to some psych meds just to keep him contained. I really didn't want him on meds but sometimes you just have to use them. It's all about balance, and using drugs wisely.
It was awful to see him like that...and he too got so thin towards the very end. But I researched the dying process and learned about everything you mentioned above. About a week or so before he died, you couldn't get him to eat or even really take fluids - he'd push it away. I learned that if we forced liquids on him he'd aspirate and suffer more. I guess it's about understanding when someone is "actively dying" vs. not - and that was all new to me. I had to learn about this as it's not something most of us even know about!
I was very grateful for the hospice team - they were incredibly kind and helpful. Thanks for your comment too - it's good for people to know the difference between actively dying and a person who isn't dying.
Thank you. I reserve commenting on the deaths in facilities during COVID, because I've been told there were financial incentives for COVID deaths, and although I hate to think that medical personnel would actively kill someone, I can't say it wasn't done. I found the refusal to allow families to be present and advocate for patients was reprehensible. I was a hospice nurse for several years and found that there are a lot of people who truly believe that hospice nurses are running around killing people with unecessary overdoses of morphine. While I understand that those people may have reasons to believe that, I try to educate people on what in-home hospice care really is.
I don't think it is hospice nurses they think badly of...it is hospital nurses...