Didn’t cheat on her, commit dv or anything like that but I messed up pretty bad and my engagement is on the rocks now. I am so upset with myself that I haven’t ate in two days and it’s one of those things where my words don’t matter at the moment so I just feel powerless because nothing in the immediate will fix it. Only time and action will help it. I have made a plan of action I just hope she gives me the chance so I can weather this storm.
I don’t want to go into the details here but if you could pray for me I would appreciate it.
OK, so there are three possibilities here. 1) you're a bad person, 2) you're a flawed person, 3) you're a good person.
Scenario 1: You knowingly did something unforgivable and you got caught. You're not guilty about what you did, you're just unhappy with the consequences. You don't deserve her and she doesn't deserve your crap. Let her go and move on.
Scenario 2: A moment of weakness or shortsightedness led to you doing something you regret in hindsight. This is part of being human; pobody's nerfect. It sounds like you're sincerely acknowledging that error and you'll probably end up a better person as a result of this experience. You need a partner who will accept your imperfections and support you as you grow, and if this girl is too selfish to be that partner then you deserve better than her.
Scenario 3: You actually didn't do anything wrong and your fiancee's reaction is irrational and/or manipulative. Take a moment to think carefully about whether anything you did actually violates your personal code, or if the reason you think you messed up is because you're being told you messed up. Don't immediately dismiss this option; people who are being emotionally abused are the last people to see it.
Good analysis. In a marriage there will definitely be serious screw up moments eventually on both sides, and they need to be forgivable. The time to find out what's unforgivable is before marriage. Is this level of unforgivable something that might come up again? I'm praying some angel gives both of you a little counseling.
This is great advice.
Great advice