God used this time to allow many trials that I thought I’d never survive. I felt as Job must have in the Bible. After each journey and each thing I overcame I learned lessons that God designed specifically catered to me. As I learned I grew, as I grew I asked God for more wisdom, discernment and understanding and scripture recall. As I have been learning and growing and overcoming, I have finally come to see myself as Jesus sees me, beautiful. Beautiful i side and out.

Your experiences bring to mind this beautiful article about chairos [sacred time, God's time] vs. chronos [clock time]. It also resonates with experiences like holding the 'burden' of knowing Q-related knowledge, while yet awaiting/working toward the great awakening:

https://anitamathias.com/2011/06/07/chronos-and-chairos-time-and-gods-time 


Chronos and Chairos: Time and God’s Time - Anita Mathias, Dreaming Beneath the Spires

'In my own life, I am learning to wait for Chairos, the right time, God’s time. I have many ideas, many things I want to do. I can’t do, or even start all of them right now. And that’s where waiting for the chairos time, the right time, God’s time comes in...'

'When it is God’s time, it’s amazing how everything falls into place. Finance comes, connections, friends, people appear, out of the blue, to help you, there are coincidences–God-incidences. So it is best to wait for chairos time before you force something through.

'And the concept of chairos time explains why sometimes one might wait and pray a very long time for something to happen–with no apparent results–and then it happens very quickly. For me, the times when things fall into place very rapidly is a hallmark of God’s activity...'

A Comment:

'I remember reading that God's timing almost always seems too slow to us. It must be that he needs to get the inside stuff right before he makes our dreams come through. Of course, one could “grab” the dreams, but they may not come with God's blessing!'