When I was growing up I got spanked by my parents and whenever it happened I almost always did something to deserve it and I knew it. My cousins got the same, and my siblings.
My grandma is Indian from Trinidad and Tobago, she had the scarriest punishment and you knew to listen to grandma and behave:
- normally she'd give you a light knock on the crown of the head, it was like the worse ever because nothing is injured and she hardly touched you and it hurt so bad
- "The heat for the seat" was a large wooden decorative spoon the size of a plate, she broke it on my cousin when he wouldn't stop beating me up
We laugh about it now, he knew he deserved it and it was funny in hindsight that it broke after correcting 2 generations of familly members.
Growing up I could always tell the kids that were never spanked from the ones that were. The kids who were never spanked all had these traits:
- complete lack of fear of authority
- complete disrespect for adult
- bullying of others, including crybullying
- lack of respect for the law
- propensity to cheat
- no respect for other people property
- a willigness to commit petty theft for fun
I think that the modern ideals are wrong. I believe in the old wisdom of our forefathers.
Grandma was right to hit us.
I saw a talk show a long time ago asking 'how do you tell a spanking from a beating?'.
My opinion: if you don't know the difference between the two, you should not hit your child.
when my kids - 3 boys - were small, a swat was usually in reaction to them doing something dangerous - outlets, stove, street. so a grab of the arm, swat on the butt with a loud NO sent a strong message. that worked sufficiently to toddler age, after which the punishment for wrongdoing was standing in the corner, no tv, no toys, no dessert. Any sass was greeted by a grab of the earlobe and physically brought to the corner. Punishment was handed out immediately - none of the 'wait till your father gets home' crap, making kids afraid of Dad.
Once they learned to obey when small, the necessity to physically punish was rare. It worked on all three boys, age difference of 8 years - now men....and they all admit that they deserved the punishments they received. The running joke is that their ear lobes are longer than anyone else's.
Great points- consistent and immediate from young.
I agree with consistent, bcz the kids will learn that you mean what you say. I was pregnant all their lives and no matter how big I was, they knew I would get up if they didn't mind. It got to where they didn't wanna make me get up so they minded pretty well. Also tried not to discipline in anger. Just "doing my job" attitude.
EXACTLY!! And AMEN! :)