Being proud of defining yourself by your aberrant sexual behavior tells you everything you need to know about a person. Talk to any decent person about their identity and they'll tell you something meaningful about themselves. Talk to anyone you'd actually want to be about their identity: "I'm the guy who discovered [x]", "I'm the lady who built [y] company", "I've worked 30 years as a [z] and done a lot of good for my community", "I'm [n] ethnicity, one of the last of my people. I volunteer time at schools and museums teaching my language and culture so my people will not be forgotten."
All of those are identities in which to take pride, and there are countless others. But saying "I like to get my rocks off in a different way than you do" isn't one of them. When you reduce yourself to your sexual behavior, you're the one trivializing yourself. That goes for anyone, gay or straight.
Being proud of defining yourself by your aberrant sexual behavior tells you everything you need to know about a person. Talk to any decent person about their identity and they'll tell you something meaningful about themselves. Talk to anyone you'd actually want to be about their identity: "I'm the guy who discovered [x]", "I'm the lady who built [y] company", "I've worked 30 years as a [z] and done a lot of good for my community", "I'm [n] ethnicity, one of the last of my people. I volunteer time at schools and museums teaching my language and culture so my people will not be forgotten."
All of those are identities in which to take pride, and there are countless others. But saying "I like to get my rocks off in a different way than you do" isn't one of them. When you reduce yourself to your sexual behavior, you're the one trivializing yourself. That goes for anyone, gay or straight.