I know this is probably not the place but I know I am amongst many other Christian's or believers in god, and maybe someone can help me get some footing on this.
So lately I've been really trying to connect with god, I've been reading the Bible, praying, talking with god and trying to build a stronger relationship with him. I've always been a Christian but there's been a long long while in my life where I definitely put that on the back burner and just lived my life. Even been intrigued by dark or magical type things. Which never in an evil way but very spiritual, always looking for answers but not in the right places I guess you can say??
Anyways I've been reading the Bible and listening to sermons praying almost any time I catch myself worrying or feeling anxious, really trying to rely on god and allow his will to be instead of me stressing about everything, asking for guidance and grace, and to help me be a better Christian to serve him a better mother a better person etc, and I've felt so much more at peace. It's an adjustment because I haven't done it since I was a young kid, but I try to really catch myself in my old habits and turn to god instead.
ANYWAYS! My son is sick right now I couldn't sleep last night because of it, around 2am I fell asleep, I honestly don't remember much at all of the dream but it was me professing my love To the lord and I believe I was trying to help someone who was under attack or trying to spread the love from god to someone else. I just remember this LOUD LOUD horrific music in my head it was like opera singing but evil sounding and it was the scariest part of the dream because it was like in my head and my ears in real life but I was sleeping. Then for some reason I ran outside the home I was in and three black demons were flying or floating whatever in the sky and one was the actual baphomet. I remember being twrrified and calling to god to protect me and I was rebuking them and screaming I belong to god and to leave me alone. Finally I woke up thank god, and it was THREE AM! Like what?!! That scared me so bad even worse. And I had just the most anxiety ridden feeling that something was in my house I couldn't get comfortable nothing I put on tv calmed my nerves I kept praying to god To keep his protective hands over me and my kids and remove evil from our home and any way they could attach to us. But I swear it felt like something was just behind my back no matter which way I was laying I think I prayed for almost an hour straight. Then finally when 4am came it felt totally fine like it was SO WEIRD! And I was able to fall back asleep Around 4:30 but begged god to protect Me in my sleep and keep me from having such evil nightmares because I have never ever experienced something so chilling. Then when I woke up for good this morning I felt completely drained and my head felt so funny like I'm not sure if anyone's been on anti depressants but like that laggy head feeling when you haven't taken your medicine yet. It was just so weird. I really feel like it's a demonic attack because I wasn't close with god and I wasn't necessarily devoting my life to him or trying to be godly I just figured he'd see I have good intentions on life and always forgive me, but now I want more and I want to be a more devoted Christian and live in his eyes and I want my kids to know him And live in his eyes as well. I just feel like this time we are going through in this world is so evil and uncertain that I want the evil side to see I will never be a soldier for them and I will never be complacent, and I feel like now is the time To get right with god and the fact that maybe my spirit wasn't locked down as much maybe made me not so much of a target but once you try to get close with god this could be a scare tactic to keep you from getting too close? Maybe it was just a crazy nightmare but I have NEVER experienced anything like this.
If you've ready this all then thank you so much and if anyone had any advice or similar stories I'd love to hear them. Not sure it's the right place For it but I know I'm amongst great honest god fearing people as well!
If you start making actual progress toward God then you will be attacked. As soon as I started getting in shape and making a legitimate attempt against my worst vices my job turned into hell. Just keep marching.