I don't drink often, but when I do I get ridiculously drunk, I become a monster. Im surrounded by some of the best people in the world, but I always end up doing or saying something i can hardly deal with the next day, aside from that, they are more than forgiving. I just recently had a bout of this for my birthday. I generally think this is because I bottle my feelings and the only way I know how to release them is by blacking out and throwing a temper tantrum or sobbing. Its crazy because I'm a grown man. I hate it, i actually hate it. Its like I never grew up, a child stuck in an aging body. I tell myself it wont happen again. Then after months i go out for a beer or a drink and wake up embarrassed seeing flashes of this animal mixed with absolutely nothingness. Wondering what i did or said. While not really wanting to know. If any of you are dealing with this or have, what helped? I dont mind if you Share some embarrassing moments you've dealt with or just how to deal with it. Thanks, this place is the only place I know to ask because I don't have anyone else to talk too.
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Maybe harsh and unpopular opinion but I'm not really worried about it.
Alcohol is a drug. It's just completely normalized. If I told you I only do fentanyl every once in a while and when I do I have a bad reaction and regret it, what would you say? I would hope somebody would be blunt with me and tell me like it is and say something like "If you're not addicted wtf are you doing casually using drugs that can kill you just to fit in if you know you react badly to it?"
It sounds ridiculous when you put another drug there, even though alcohol kills more than any other drug could dream of. If you have a problem on a drug and the option to just stop using it because you arent addicted, I would strongly consider taking that option while it's still an option.