Unfortunately, you drank the Koolaid, but fortunately, it's not poisoned! You will make it out again, but it will take time. What do conservatives and Trumpers know that Hollywood doesn't? It's a big one: God is in charge of everything. Here's another big one: Satan, the evil demon, does exist, and people are able to give themselves, or rather, their souls to him. I hope and trust you have not done this. If not, you need to understand that we humans are called upon to develop the virtues, and one of them you need right now is discernment: the ability to tell good from bad, right from wrong. You will also need to begin to ask God to help you regain your full power of soul. All you have to do is say, ''Help me, God..." Start with these things, and start reading the Bible, especially the New Testament.