To be fully honest, at times, yes.

I sometimes think back to 9/11. It’s not that those were “good times”, necessarily, but that camaraderie we had with common goals and a common enemy, and what I thought was a common culture in the US, was comforting.

Feeling like I could trust certain institutions and that they only did bad things to bad people, was comforting

And life, in general, seemed less dark and more magical. I looked forward to stupid things like new TV shows.

Now, it’s just hard not feeling how fake everything is, including even the events of 9/11.l and the camaraderie we had, and how media driven it all was.

Everything in general just seems darker, and it’s heavy.

At the same time, I’m now awake and can’t “unawaken”, and not sure if I would go back if I could. It just wouldn’t feel right to turn my back on fighting for what’s right just for my own (temporary) comfort.

So all I can do is trust that God is involved, and that I have some part to play in this that requires me to be awake, and remind myself that there are many others who have been awake for far longer and done far more fighting for good with it than I have, so I have to live up to this responsibility.

Edit:

I should also add, one thing that is a major win for being awake is that, I can now say it saved my life.

Had I not been awake, I would have certainly taken the jab, as would someone very close to me, and I feel in my gut that it would have killed us.

We’re alive as of today because I was awake by the time the jabs came to be.