People develop "self-esteem" -- a sense of comfort with and respect FOR themselves -- during childhood (and during gestation, birth, and infancy as well) IF they have parents who treat them with love and respect. We develop a healthy connection to others during our earliest years, or we go through life disconnected to some extent from other humans and from the animals we share this world with.
Humans are social animals and when we can't feel the connection to others that we are MADE for, it hurts so badly that solitary confinement is used as a form of torture.
Imagine living your life in near-solitary confinement, and you'll have some idea of the pain and anger people raised without love and respect must deal with. The details vary enormously but, on average, the damage is more severe the more trauma is inflicted (which doesn't have to come from bad parenting; losing a family member through accident or disease, for instance, is usually a major trauma).
The ACE study shows how important this is, for those interested.
Our overall findings, presented extensively in the American literature,
demonstrate that:
• Adverse childhood experiences are surprisingly common, although typically
concealed and unrecognized.
• ACEs still have a profound effect 50 years later, although now transformed from
psychosocial experience into organic disease, social malfunction, and mental
illness.
• Adverse childhood experiences are the main determinant of the health and social well-being of the nation.
Wise men and women (including ordinary healthy people) have always understood this. Direct quotes (as reported by disciples long ago and later translated into English, of course) from Jesus on the topics of children, treatment of children, and the inner life that results from that treatment, good or bad:
People develop "self-esteem" -- a sense of comfort with and respect FOR themselves -- during childhood (and during gestation, birth, and infancy as well) IF they have parents who treat them with love and respect. We develop a healthy connection to others during our earliest years, or we go through life disconnected to some extent from other humans and from the animals we share this world with.
Humans are social animals and when we can't feel the connection to others that we are MADE for, it hurts so badly that solitary confinement is used as a form of torture.
Imagine living your life in near-solitary confinement, and you'll have some idea of the pain and anger people raised without love and respect must deal with. The details vary enormously but, on average, the damage is more severe the more trauma is inflicted (which doesn't have to come from bad parenting; losing a family member through accident or disease, for instance, is usually a major trauma).
The ACE study shows how important this is, for those interested.
A talk by Dr. Vincent Felitti, one of the ACE Stdy authors, on the study and its results (32 min 44 sec).
Wise men and women (including ordinary healthy people) have always understood this. Direct quotes (as reported by disciples long ago and later translated into English, of course) from Jesus on the topics of children, treatment of children, and the inner life that results from that treatment, good or bad:
• Matthew: 18:1 - 18:6
• Mark: 10:13 - 10:15
• Luke: 17:21
• John: 13:34 - 13:35