Welcome to General Chat - GAW Community Area
This General Chat area started off as a place for people to talk about things that are off topic, however it has quickly evolved into a community and has become an integral part of the GAW experience for many of us.
Based on its evolving needs and plenty of user feedback, we are trying to bring some order and institute some rules. Please make sure you read these rules and participate in the spirit of this community.
Rules for General Chat
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Be respectful to each other. This is of utmost importance, and comments may be removed if deemed not respectful.
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Avoid long drawn out arguments. This should be a place to relax, not to waste your time needlessly.
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Personal anecdotes, puzzles, cute pics/clips - everything welcome
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Please do not spam at the top level. If you have a lot to post each day, try and post them all together in one top level comment
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Try keep things light. If you are bringing in deep stuff, try not to go overboard.
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Things that are clearly on-topic for this board should be posted as a separate post and not here (except if you are new and still getting the feel of this place)
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If you find people violating these rules, deport them rather than start a argument here.
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Feel free to give feedback as these rules are expected to keep evoloving
In short, imagine this thread to be a local community hall where we all gather and chat daily. Please be respectful to others in the same way
So.. I know what you’re taking about. I know a lot of people who do this, myself included. They mean well and truly do care but they just don’t know how to listen actively. It’s probably gotten much worse with social media, phones etc and people not engaging in real conversations as much. Therapists are trained to listen and they say things like “I hear what you’re saying” and paraphrase back what the person said without talking about their own experiences, or only rarely. They’re good at it usually but we aren’t trained. I’ve had to really learn how to listen better when one on one with people. Stop interjecting. Once you know it’s a habit, you’ll do it less frequently because that little voice in your head will say “listen” and “show facial expressions” and “nod” and “ask a question” and then paraphrase back or at least repeat back something posed as a question so they expand.
Most people I know, especially very troubled veterans, just want to vent and be validated. They don’t necessarily want things fixed. They want to let off steam, talk about stuff with trusted people because they can’t always do that with say, work people or more casual friends. That’s pretty much what we all want, right? So I think working on being better listeners sort of pays it forward. They’re going to be there for you, too.