I imagine it felt convicting to watch him receive some of the abuse he doled out. I'm just very humbled by your matter of fact way of describing such horrific events, I understand that sometimes the cycle of abuse is broken. I'm thankful your cycle ended with your past and hope your voice now can help others who are abused now. So many are and we don't understand it fully, but stories like yours make it hard to ignore and turn a blind eye.
Everclear has a song Father of Mine, a verse that describes how children of abusive men feel.
I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame
Now I'm a grown man
With a child of my own
And I swear, I'll never let her know
All the pain I have known
I know the song, and I wish you didn't feel so weird inside, but I hope you know, your biggest fan is your daughter and breaking that chain of abuse was an incredible feat! It's ok to share your story with her at some point in time, you have no reason hide it, none of it was your fault, you had some seriously shitty parenting and were around awful adults because of it. Your daughter may understand you a little better and love you even more if she knows what you suffered and conquered. Saying that, there are things I've never shared with my children too, I don't want them to hurt knowing I was hurt, so I do understand your point.
Er... No kids, my first wife had a tubal ligation and my wife now was at about the age when having a baby would be a bad idea, she was 42 almost 43 when we married and I was 53. She has a grown up son and we have our first and probably only grandkid. My wife is Pinoy (Filipino). I was only meeting disaster life types in USA...
My mom was a drunk and irresponsible and very bad at choosing men. My oldest sister was less traumatized as she lived with Pop and Gram since aged 5, very smart but lived a cat lady life. A retired teacher, but she lived a filthy house life. Picture cat poop everywhere..
The middle kid, a sister as well was more traumatized, became a drunk, but unlike mom, she was violent. The bad bad guy chased her down the street naked when she was 12 (I was 11) I never knew about it until an adult. My mom lived in denial about that then. She and my sister had a fight.
We are part nature (Genetics) and part nurture (Environmental) I love singing now like dad, and I'm a good money manager, that's from my moms financial disasters. I haven't been broke since I was a kid. So I avoided booze for the most part so as not to become the monster.
ADHD and PTSD self-diagnosed, I self-medicated smoking weed... Never had any help... I street council here and there. If I see a woman who is being battered and has kids, I tell them stories from my life, hoping to wake them up to the damage to the kids. If I talk to someone in a dead end job, I also share how I only had low level jobs and never a career. I used to recommend Military, Collage, or trade school. Nowadays I only say trade school... I focus on talking about the WEF Globalist genocide and all the other issues we are facing, these days.
Proof that if you want to, you can conquer the evil and nit only survive, but be the change you want to see in the world.
Sir, I can't think of a finer example than you. Against all odds, you persevered and have come to a place of taking care of yourself, avoiding negative influences and having your own family, the way it grew is not important, that you have one is what matters. Love them hard, and thank you for trying to help others that you see suffering from the same evils you did. If we can't help each other, we have no business being here ❤️
I imagine it felt convicting to watch him receive some of the abuse he doled out. I'm just very humbled by your matter of fact way of describing such horrific events, I understand that sometimes the cycle of abuse is broken. I'm thankful your cycle ended with your past and hope your voice now can help others who are abused now. So many are and we don't understand it fully, but stories like yours make it hard to ignore and turn a blind eye.
Everclear has a song Father of Mine, a verse that describes how children of abusive men feel.
I will never be safe I will never be sane I will always be weird inside I will always be lame Now I'm a grown man With a child of my own And I swear, I'll never let her know All the pain I have known
I know the song, and I wish you didn't feel so weird inside, but I hope you know, your biggest fan is your daughter and breaking that chain of abuse was an incredible feat! It's ok to share your story with her at some point in time, you have no reason hide it, none of it was your fault, you had some seriously shitty parenting and were around awful adults because of it. Your daughter may understand you a little better and love you even more if she knows what you suffered and conquered. Saying that, there are things I've never shared with my children too, I don't want them to hurt knowing I was hurt, so I do understand your point.
Er... No kids, my first wife had a tubal ligation and my wife now was at about the age when having a baby would be a bad idea, she was 42 almost 43 when we married and I was 53. She has a grown up son and we have our first and probably only grandkid. My wife is Pinoy (Filipino). I was only meeting disaster life types in USA...
My mom was a drunk and irresponsible and very bad at choosing men. My oldest sister was less traumatized as she lived with Pop and Gram since aged 5, very smart but lived a cat lady life. A retired teacher, but she lived a filthy house life. Picture cat poop everywhere..
The middle kid, a sister as well was more traumatized, became a drunk, but unlike mom, she was violent. The bad bad guy chased her down the street naked when she was 12 (I was 11) I never knew about it until an adult. My mom lived in denial about that then. She and my sister had a fight.
We are part nature (Genetics) and part nurture (Environmental) I love singing now like dad, and I'm a good money manager, that's from my moms financial disasters. I haven't been broke since I was a kid. So I avoided booze for the most part so as not to become the monster.
ADHD and PTSD self-diagnosed, I self-medicated smoking weed... Never had any help... I street council here and there. If I see a woman who is being battered and has kids, I tell them stories from my life, hoping to wake them up to the damage to the kids. If I talk to someone in a dead end job, I also share how I only had low level jobs and never a career. I used to recommend Military, Collage, or trade school. Nowadays I only say trade school... I focus on talking about the WEF Globalist genocide and all the other issues we are facing, these days.
Proof that if you want to, you can conquer the evil and nit only survive, but be the change you want to see in the world. Sir, I can't think of a finer example than you. Against all odds, you persevered and have come to a place of taking care of yourself, avoiding negative influences and having your own family, the way it grew is not important, that you have one is what matters. Love them hard, and thank you for trying to help others that you see suffering from the same evils you did. If we can't help each other, we have no business being here ❤️