I must not gloat, I must not gloat, I must not gloat.....

I did hear that when this abomination of a festival started up one of the attendees decided to hang himself, which he did in full view of everyone.

Of course the imbeciles watching applauded this as a good prank and waited for him to come down but when the slow realisation that it was not a prank filtered into their wasted reality they became very quiet indeed. They left it to the festival stewards to cut him down, nobody thought of climbing up there to cut the rope themselves. So it goes.