Your feelings of apprehension are well founded. I don't want to cause you more consternation as you sound really confused but I would brace yourself for a coming crisis of faith as all the world's organized religions are revealed to have been massively manipulated from antiquity.
Ashlanddog is a champion here and I have much respect for him but seriously, neither he nor anyone else can honestly answer deep questions on the nature of reality for you.
The bottom line is all this is a matter of faith unless you undertake some direct personal mystical experience. No-one knows what God said because the deep state has had so long with these manucripts.
God would not "speak" anything anyway, he would instantly transfer huge conceptual edifices directly into total understanding without something so pedestrian as english. It is all so anthropomorphic. These religions take the human experience and consciousness level and apply it to the God head. The fact that you are feeling guilty all the time is evidence that the deep state propaganda is working to confuse and obfuscate any decently enlightening knowledge of God or our own consciousness and how we fit into the universe.
Just have an open mind and realize that you have been lied to. It is all we can do at this point, but decent, unobfuscated, unmanipulated truth is nearly here.
Your feelings of apprehension are well founded. I don't want to cause you more consternation as you sound really confused but I would brace yourself for a coming crisis of faith as all the world's organized religions are revealed to have been massively manipulated from antiquity.
Ashlanddog is a champion here and I have much respect for him but seriously, neither he nor anyone else can honestly answer deep questions on the nature of reality for you.
The bottom line is all this is a matter of faith unless you undertake some direct personal mystical experience. No-one knows what God said because the deep state has had so long with these manucripts.
God would not "speak" anything anyway, he would instantly transfer huge conceptual edifices directly into total understanding without something so pedestrian as english. It is all so anthropomorphic. These religions take the human experience and consciousness level and apply it to the God head. The fact that you are feeling guilty all the time is evidence that the deep state propaganda is working to confuse and obfuscate any decently enlightening knowledge of God or our own consciousness and how we fit into the universe.
Just have an open mind and realize that you have been lied to. It is all we can do at this point, but decent, unobfuscated, unmanipulated truth is nearly here.