He's nearly 21 and has never had a job. He wakes up every morning eager to do something but never follows through on any plans he makes. One minute he was all amped up about residential pest mitigation and the next he wants to be an inspector for local rivers and help clean up debris... I am honestly frustrated, he won't cook or clean let alone help with our financial struggles.
I really love him with every inch of my heart and soul but I don't know how to get him to contribute more or be more independent. I really don't want to kick him out but I don't think it's fair for him to contribute nothing to our relationship.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts or advice from my frens.
Edit: thank you all for your advice about my dog, I'll see if I can get him to cook but there's no way I'm letting him join the military. He kept that squirrel and neighbors cat out of the yard so I think I'll take him down to the river to fetch sticks.
Edit 2: I have found my kid employment, he is now wrangling small unicorns for work.
What is it that you want from him? You said you aren't ready for him to live his life without you. You talk about financial struggles, but also claim to not have a rent or mortgage. He will clean, when you ask him too. Many, many people don't really do much cleaning unless forced to. Many, many people also don't do much cooking. Not saying that's great, just being realistic. If you are struggling with finances, you could approach him and say that you need help and can no longer do it yourself. Similar with household chores. The fact that he seems to be special needs in some way makes this a unique scenario. I would advocate approaching him kind-heartedly and appealing to his humanity, before the tough love (which is always an option later). But overall I think you need to focus in on what it is exactly you wish to see him do. It's not easy for someone who has never really done it before to suddenly flip the switch and become Mr Helpful and Mr Handyman.
I agree. So much more he is not saying about the situation.
He doesn't have any humanity in him, I'll try your advice but I'm not sure it's going to work.