He's nearly 21 and has never had a job. He wakes up every morning eager to do something but never follows through on any plans he makes. One minute he was all amped up about residential pest mitigation and the next he wants to be an inspector for local rivers and help clean up debris... I am honestly frustrated, he won't cook or clean let alone help with our financial struggles.
I really love him with every inch of my heart and soul but I don't know how to get him to contribute more or be more independent. I really don't want to kick him out but I don't think it's fair for him to contribute nothing to our relationship.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts or advice from my frens.
Edit: thank you all for your advice about my dog, I'll see if I can get him to cook but there's no way I'm letting him join the military. He kept that squirrel and neighbors cat out of the yard so I think I'll take him down to the river to fetch sticks.
Edit 2: I have found my kid employment, he is now wrangling small unicorns for work.
My recommendation would be to send (take?) him to chat with a counselor at a local Community College. Let him see a path for his future. Perhaps he could be presented with options he hadn't thought of. School comes with responsibilities, camaraderie, competition and opportunities to be around like-minded people.
We did this with both our sons. Both went on to University. (One late 20s now, and other early 30s) One is a doctor and one will be a lawyer next spring.
I don't like the idea of kicking him out of the house. That could go bad a thousand different ways. Be tough, be firm, but guide him with love.
Best of luck.
I appreciate your advice but he's not very capable of communication like normal children. I'll guide him best I can but he isn't as intelligent as me and communicating his his feelings is very difficult compared to most people I know.
That's why he needs to go talk.