Hey, I’m not a violent person, and I’m not claiming to be a biologist or anything of that nature, but if you need to know whether your balls actually exist or not, I’ll happily help you out with that, and that’s all I meant by my offer.

Clearly, you and your friend only specialize in being fags and kicking your own asses, so I’ll be charitable for each of you, I’ll donate a couple ball checks for each of you.

Eventually, if you and your friend discover you have balls and want your balls removed, I could only guess you would need to contact your nearest wood chipper salesman for such a job, because I’m not doing that for anyone, because — like I said — I’m not a biologist, and I don’t sell wood chippers.