Welcome to General Chat - GAW Community Area
This General Chat area started off as a place for people to talk about things that are off topic, however it has quickly evolved into a community and has become an integral part of the GAW experience for many of us.
Based on its evolving needs and plenty of user feedback, we are trying to bring some order and institute some rules. Please make sure you read these rules and participate in the spirit of this community.
Rules for General Chat
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Be respectful to each other. This is of utmost importance, and comments may be removed if deemed not respectful.
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Avoid long drawn out arguments. This should be a place to relax, not to waste your time needlessly.
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Personal anecdotes, puzzles, cute pics/clips - everything welcome
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Please do not spam at the top level. If you have a lot to post each day, try and post them all together in one top level comment
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Try keep things light. If you are bringing in deep stuff, try not to go overboard.
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Things that are clearly on-topic for this board should be posted as a separate post and not here (except if you are new and still getting the feel of this place)
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If you find people violating these rules, deport them rather than start a argument here.
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Feel free to give feedback as these rules are expected to keep evoloving
In short, imagine this thread to be a local community hall where we all gather and chat daily. Please be respectful to others in the same way
I’ll pray for her, for you as well. Having gone through a similar breakup this past summer, I’ve realized it is a path to learn a lot about yourself. A personal growth journey. If you see it like that right now, it helps take a lot of the pain away. Yeah, you grieve for the person and the good times and allow yourself that. But also, after the dust settles, you start to learn about yourself, what annoys you, what you may have done wrong (admitting that is hard but essential) and you can sort of pave a path forward. But it is devastating and especially holidays- sometimes even just shopping for food can be a big trigger. I found reading helps tremendously. Anything that interests you. It fills the voids.
It sort of sounds like you have not given up totally on the relationship. Maybe I’m reading too much into it or don’t know all the details but use this time to focus on fixing what could be wrong in your own life. I had a counselor tell me once that if you imagine drawing a circle around yourself-a circle around your feet and you’re standing in it- what is inside is what you can control. That’s it. It’s probably the most useful advice I’ve ever gotten from anyone. You can’t control her, what she does, how she manipulates you or her character flaws. You can only work on yourself and your reactions to those problems. It may never be a salvageable relationship but you can salvage your self esteem, your ability to love and care for others, learn new things, and so on. This is sort of a gift, the way I look at it.
You broke up and it took a lot of courage. It would have been easier to go to bed and just press on the next day repeating the same mistakes. So you did that and it wasn’t easy at all and you’re probably exhausted emotionally from the whole thing. Rest. Distract yourself. Pray and try to listen really hard to what God is trying to help you learn.
Wise words. There's no salvaging the relationship, it was already hanging by a thread honestly. I've been trying to get through to her for a couple years and she just doesn't want to deal with her own issues. I wen't through a hard period of self-reflection a few years ago before we met and I think she's in rougher shape now than I was but she just ignores the big problems in her life and emotionally feeds off others, spends money on frivolous things while living payday to payday and then asks for help paying her bills.
Thanks for the prayers.
Sounds familiar, really. Take care, fren.