memory loss resulting in misplaced or inability to locate one's identification
mysterious broken water pipes (excessive hydroscopic inundation)
sudden inability to ask uncomfortable questions about systemic insecurities within our voting infrastructure
rapid onset blindness to evidence of illegal behavior
Doctors are baffled over this mysterious condition which affects millions of Americans every four years. It's a chronic condition that seems to have no known cure. However, I hear military researchers are currently working on a solution which will hopefully be released very soon. We mustn't let Electoralitis claim any more victims than it already has!
Not sure if you remember this, but one of the more egregious instances of Electoralitis was back in 2004 in Washington State's gubernatorial race between Rossi and Gregoire. Gregoire's camp was able to find ballots in the trunk of the car of some electoral workers, which gave her the slim margin she needed to win the race.
“Your election law is not a blank coloring book to be filled in at the desire of a candidate because they don’t like the way an election is going,” said Mark Braden, an attorney for the Republicans. “… Do not change the rules now, in the middle of the process.”
Disease X, AKA Electoralitis.
Symptoms include:
inability to detect fake news and propaganda
uncontrollable bouts of mail-in voting
memory loss resulting in misplaced or inability to locate one's identification
mysterious broken water pipes (excessive hydroscopic inundation)
sudden inability to ask uncomfortable questions about systemic insecurities within our voting infrastructure
rapid onset blindness to evidence of illegal behavior
Doctors are baffled over this mysterious condition which affects millions of Americans every four years. It's a chronic condition that seems to have no known cure. However, I hear military researchers are currently working on a solution which will hopefully be released very soon. We mustn't let Electoralitis claim any more victims than it already has!
Just two weeks to flatten the curve
Not sure if you remember this, but one of the more egregious instances of Electoralitis was back in 2004 in Washington State's gubernatorial race between Rossi and Gregoire. Gregoire's camp was able to find ballots in the trunk of the car of some electoral workers, which gave her the slim margin she needed to win the race.
(sound familiar?)
https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2004/dec/14/found-ballots-may-tip-election-to-gregoire/
Don't remember this particular event, but it seems like Electoralitis is a chronic condition. Usually accompanied by rectal pain and coprolalia