From the earliest moments I was aggressively socialized to accommodate others and never take my own side. Now as a man I'm supposed to go out there and succeed in this highly competitive world? It's a cruel joke.
I developed earlier than most kids. By the time I was 2 years old I was already talking more like an adult and learning to read my first words. The teachers didn't understand this and resented me for not acting my age. I was always bored in school and hated the way I was treated for doing anything that felt remotely natural. No stretching, no talking, no exercising my own discretion or being creative. I thought it was ridiculous that I had to ask to use the restroom or drink water. I was always getting in trouble for things that no adult would ever think twice about criticizing another adult for.
Going to public school is like being raised in a communist country. Teachers use their age difference and institutional backing to bully kids into non-existence. They obviously resented us. They didn't want to be there. We were always the problem for them just by existing and they wanted to mold us to be as small as possible so they didn't have to "deal" with us as human beings.
What does that do to a person's mind?
Virtually all of the traits I hate about myself can be traced back to school. The people-pleasing, the passivity, the fear of not being in control of my environment. I often hesitate to take initiative or advocate for myself because every time I did that as a child I was squashed by people bigger and more respected than me. Eventually I learned not to trust myself. I learned that the only way to survive is to mindlessly fall in line and follow directions. It's been a very hard thing to unlearn.
I think a lot of the woke stuff we see is actually a backlash to this. Schools were so overbearing in the 2010s, the people coming out of that environment just want to assert some form of identity for themselves. Sometimes that shows up in the form identifying as a cat or having crazy colored hair. It's sad that so many young minds have been ruined by modern schools.
As an elementary school teacher myself, I'd like to express my sympathy that that happened to you. I know it would have happened a lot, but it didn't happen everywhere. Unfortunately, the public systems are generally not equipped to deal with students who are exceptional, whether on the high end or the low end. I teach my students quite differently from what you described, yet I can't say I am completely satisfied with my own ability to meet everyone's needs. The fact is, young humans are incredibly complex entities, and even if a teacher only had 1 student to teach and it was their own flesh and blood, they still couldn't do a perfect job of it. (I'm a father, too, so I know.) I hope as you journey on in your life, you will find increasing contentment and blessing.
If you look into the original design by Mann and Greeley, Humanists with published manifestos, you'll find that the government indoctrination daycare centers purposely kill initiative, creativity, critical thought, logic, faith... They declared they would replace family and church with government and state, prepare compliant, obedient workers for the factories, that would be ready for the "inevitable" consolidation with communism.
Bullies, peer pressure, emphasis on attendance over understanding, on mindless repetition of meaningless tasks, on conformity, on feelings and relativism, on excess drudge work that invades all private time (drilling in that our time is not our own), all of this has been by design. Making the teaching profession so unpleasant that the good teachers are unhappy to the point of ruin, and that bad, incompetent teachers are attracted to the classrooms. Because they're not there to TEACH, but to administer, to manage, to supervise.
I'm hopeful you can turn your energy into reviving the one room schoolhouse model, transparent, owned and managed by the parents of attendees, mixed ages and everyone allowed to learn at their own levels in each subject regardless of age... and to stop at the best point for each, unforced into collegiate debt. Older pupils mentor younger, reinforcing their own learning and proudly providing successful examples, younger pupils emulate the older, reaching above themselves daily. Scientifically proven to be the most effective model for engaged individuals that are equipped with reason and creative and critical thought, productive inventors, entrepreneurs, craftsmen, businessmen etc of worth, it cannot be reproduced fully at home, which is the current best thing, but by cooperatives of interested families.
What do you think of the idea of school in general? I've kind of grown skeptical of the entire concept honestly. I don't think industrial education could ever do a child justice based on my experience and what I've heard from others. I don't think it's the teacher's fault most of the time. It's just an impossible task.
School has, like many things, suffered from the lack of social, moral, and spiritual cohesion that once made Western societies great. If schools and most the families that used them were based on a solid foundation of Christian values, they would be a massive benefit to society. This goes for everything: entertainment, government, commerce... Make Christian values central and you would have as close to Utopia as is possible this side of eternity. A socialist nation run by Christians would be better than a pure capitalist society devoid of Christ.
Fidel Castro's ears perked when he heard this