From the earliest moments I was aggressively socialized to accommodate others and never take my own side. Now as a man I'm supposed to go out there and succeed in this highly competitive world? It's a cruel joke.
I developed earlier than most kids. By the time I was 2 years old I was already talking more like an adult and learning to read my first words. The teachers didn't understand this and resented me for not acting my age. I was always bored in school and hated the way I was treated for doing anything that felt remotely natural. No stretching, no talking, no exercising my own discretion or being creative. I thought it was ridiculous that I had to ask to use the restroom or drink water. I was always getting in trouble for things that no adult would ever think twice about criticizing another adult for.
Going to public school is like being raised in a communist country. Teachers use their age difference and institutional backing to bully kids into non-existence. They obviously resented us. They didn't want to be there. We were always the problem for them just by existing and they wanted to mold us to be as small as possible so they didn't have to "deal" with us as human beings.
What does that do to a person's mind?
Virtually all of the traits I hate about myself can be traced back to school. The people-pleasing, the passivity, the fear of not being in control of my environment. I often hesitate to take initiative or advocate for myself because every time I did that as a child I was squashed by people bigger and more respected than me. Eventually I learned not to trust myself. I learned that the only way to survive is to mindlessly fall in line and follow directions. It's been a very hard thing to unlearn.
I think a lot of the woke stuff we see is actually a backlash to this. Schools were so overbearing in the 2010s, the people coming out of that environment just want to assert some form of identity for themselves. Sometimes that shows up in the form identifying as a cat or having crazy colored hair. It's sad that so many young minds have been ruined by modern schools.
While I also was cowed for awhile in that environment, I found covert ways to act out against the teachers, most hated me. I read insatiably though, and often knew more than they did; learned quickly to always have receipts when debunking their myths. Didn't have cell phones yet, else there'd probably be a bunch of leaked vids lol. I broke into their offices and got test answers, not because I needed them but because they were dumb tests that were full of "gotcha" nonsense instead of real concepts. When some other students thought that it was cool to prove a teacher wrong, they'd get together with me and talk about the subjects they were interested in, read and share some of the same library books, practice vocabulary words in real conversations, etc... we all became smarter and liked it. For me, though, most enjoyable was the thought processes, okay and the plotting lol. If not for my sainted grandmother I probably had a good chance of becoming a serious crook. As it was, I did get into a "gifted" program in middle school, and there leaned to drink, play poker, get sexually assaulted by a college student... so if anyone thinks you missed out on it, don't.