This is a difficult post for me to write...sometimes sharing personal details is hard...but I am reminded that this is a loving community that does care and pray for each other.
Many may recall that my daughter was a social worker with hospice. Long story short, a year ago January, she was having trouble with anxiety concerning her job and was using alcohol to cope. She was in a head on collision that injured two older people. They have had their medical needs taken care of, won a nice settlement from her employer and have recovered nicely, which is certainly a blessing...they did not deserve to be in an accident, and we are happy their needs have been met.
Christina was charged with various felonies and misdemeanors and finally she went to court last Monday, pleaded guilty to the felony charges and was sentenced to 150-180 days in a detention center. We are grateful for the amount of time, but it is difficult for her to be away from her family...her children are 5 and 8.
This has been the worst nightmare anyone can imagine, but I will share that much good has come out of it. Her husband was saved, and Christina has been going to AA and has been alcohol free since the accident. She has been to rehab, is in counseling and has taken all the classes required, done her community service, etc. She has learned a lot about herself and strategies to cope. This was all needed...they have a wonderful church family that loves and supports them, and she has much support in the AA community...and she has family that loves and cares for her and her family very much.
I could get into some of the legal issues that are very heavy on my heart and concerning to me, but I won't. It is never easy to deal with these...the hardest aspect is the total loss of freedom...just little things like her ability to be on a good vitamin regimen, which is vital to her physical and mental health or even missing out on her AA support system and counseling...which is so vital to her recovery. While she is in county jail waiting for a bed, her incarceration time is not counting for time served...so many aspects that just don't make sense to me.
However, we are trusting that God is in control and has a plan...I don't doubt for a minute that this is true...the hardest thing as a parent is to give your children up unequivocally to the Lord, who loves them so much more than we ever could. This has been a learning experience beyond my wildest imagination...unfortunately, alcoholism runs in my husband's family and using alcohol to cope is not an uncommon strategy among my kids...
Her immediate needs are to get transferred quickly to the detention center, so she is not wasting time incarcerated that is not counted as time served. Then prayers for her safety and wellbeing, including mental, spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing, while she is incarcerated...that is enough for now...when she gets out there is a whole different set of issues...but that is tomorrow's problems.
Please pray for her husband and their children...it was the sweetest thing to see her 8-year-old hug her and tell her he loves her and then to say..."see you in 6 months, mom." Kids say the darndest things and at least I got a chuckle out of that...he is the sweetest, most loving, caring grandson you could ever want, and truth be told he has a special place in my heart.
Thank you so much for your prayerful consideration for my family... Psalm 136:1 "O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever"....God is good...all the time...
Lastly, I will share three songs that are very meaningful to me at this time...I know there are so many in this community that are hurting, and I hope these songs will minister to those who have broken hearts...
Joy Comes in the Morning... https://youtu.be/9_x7eCuk8NM?si=R7UfRbBvBjQ4sxKO
Hold on my child joy comes in the morning
Weeping only lasts for the night
Hold on my child Joy comes in the morning
The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight
God Will Make a Way... https://youtu.be/1zo3fJYtS-o?si=9CtUYGTR75yqjXs1
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way
And then...Little Flowers... https://youtu.be/i-PywSxurdo
Little flowers never worry
When the wind begins to blow
And they never, never cry
When the rain begins to fall
Though, it's wet and oh so cold
Soon the sun will shine again
And they'll smile unto the world
For their beauty to behold
So, let it rain, let it rain, let it pour
Let trouble keep on knocking at my door
If we'll learn the right from wrong
It will help to make us strong
So when the clouds begin to gather
And that old wind begins to blow
Little flowers don't complain
Though they're tossing to and fro
Well I guess I've learned the secret
That only little flowers know
If it never, never rains
Then we'll never, never grow
My heart truly breaks for you and your family...believe me I understand there are always two sides to every coin...I know other people who have been killed or injured by drunk drivers and there are never any winners in these situations. It seems like you have endured tragedy beyond measure so it is hard to be forgiving when such injustice prevails...courts are all over the place with judgements and penalties and so often some people never overcome the obstacle of alcoholism. We have to remember that it is satan who is the destroyer...it is God who redeems us, loves us and forgives us...there but for the grace of God, go I. We after all, are all sinners saved by grace...there is none righteous...no not one.
I read Charles Stanley's book on forgiveness and came to the understanding that God gives us the ability to forgive to free us from bitterness and destruction...He helps us to trust that no matter what happens in life...He is there for us...I hope that you have been able to see the hand of God in your situation. The poem "Footprints in the Sand" would have been written especially for you...we are not guaranteed a life without sorrow and heartache...but we have a good Shepherd that is able to minister to our deepest wounds...God is so good.
I hate the statistics that you share...alcoholism is a very real problem...my greatest desire is that my daughter is in the 10% that overcomes alcohol abuse. God bless you and your family...I pray that His healing power has been able to help you overcome these tragic events...God is always and forever enough...
I truly hope your daughter is as well, and I will pray that she is that 10% that turns their life around, you and her both deserve that sort of peace.
I was an alcoholic for most of my life until my first kid was born. The day I held my first child was also the last day I ever took a drink. Most alcoholics need a very strong example in their life of not drinking. If you still drink, I'd highly recommend stopping immediately and sharing this with her. The more people around her that change their lives to help her will help her in the end.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this, it is awful to be on any side of this problem.
Thank you for your kind words...I rarely have a drink...the alcoholism is my husband's side...he drank wine every night for years but gave that up many years ago...thankfully...however my 5 children have used alcohol to different degrees...more social, but a few use it to self-medicate...sadly. These events have opened their eyes, but no one has committed to sobriety, except for Christina...she is a strong, intelligent, loving person who will come back from these setbacks even stronger with even more purpose to help people. We all have different journeys to take as we navigate life...God is ALWAYS more than faithful...
You know we are just different sides of the same coin...alcohol abuse...I can so appreciate your story and your life...there are NO winners when alcohol is involved...I am so glad you walked away from alcohol abuse...it makes your story that much more tragic...but I am confident the Lord has purpose in what He allows in our life, and I truly hope you have found God's purpose in your heartache and struggles...He loves you all SO much...
I am so glad you shared your story, as painful as that was for you...I did not want to post this, but I felt I needed to, and I believe one of the purposes is so that people like you can share their story...people need to be aware of the reality of alcohol abuse...especially when times are so stressful...as they are now.
I truly pray for God's richest blessing on you and your family...I do not always understand God's purposes, but I know that He always has the answer to life and whatever we may be facing...you are a kind, generous man and I pray that God will richly bless your family despite the depths of sorrow that you have endured...thank you so much for sharing your story and your life...