This is a difficult post for me to write...sometimes sharing personal details is hard...but I am reminded that this is a loving community that does care and pray for each other.
Many may recall that my daughter was a social worker with hospice. Long story short, a year ago January, she was having trouble with anxiety concerning her job and was using alcohol to cope. She was in a head on collision that injured two older people. They have had their medical needs taken care of, won a nice settlement from her employer and have recovered nicely, which is certainly a blessing...they did not deserve to be in an accident, and we are happy their needs have been met.
Christina was charged with various felonies and misdemeanors and finally she went to court last Monday, pleaded guilty to the felony charges and was sentenced to 150-180 days in a detention center. We are grateful for the amount of time, but it is difficult for her to be away from her family...her children are 5 and 8.
This has been the worst nightmare anyone can imagine, but I will share that much good has come out of it. Her husband was saved, and Christina has been going to AA and has been alcohol free since the accident. She has been to rehab, is in counseling and has taken all the classes required, done her community service, etc. She has learned a lot about herself and strategies to cope. This was all needed...they have a wonderful church family that loves and supports them, and she has much support in the AA community...and she has family that loves and cares for her and her family very much.
I could get into some of the legal issues that are very heavy on my heart and concerning to me, but I won't. It is never easy to deal with these...the hardest aspect is the total loss of freedom...just little things like her ability to be on a good vitamin regimen, which is vital to her physical and mental health or even missing out on her AA support system and counseling...which is so vital to her recovery. While she is in county jail waiting for a bed, her incarceration time is not counting for time served...so many aspects that just don't make sense to me.
However, we are trusting that God is in control and has a plan...I don't doubt for a minute that this is true...the hardest thing as a parent is to give your children up unequivocally to the Lord, who loves them so much more than we ever could. This has been a learning experience beyond my wildest imagination...unfortunately, alcoholism runs in my husband's family and using alcohol to cope is not an uncommon strategy among my kids...
Her immediate needs are to get transferred quickly to the detention center, so she is not wasting time incarcerated that is not counted as time served. Then prayers for her safety and wellbeing, including mental, spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing, while she is incarcerated...that is enough for now...when she gets out there is a whole different set of issues...but that is tomorrow's problems.
Please pray for her husband and their children...it was the sweetest thing to see her 8-year-old hug her and tell her he loves her and then to say..."see you in 6 months, mom." Kids say the darndest things and at least I got a chuckle out of that...he is the sweetest, most loving, caring grandson you could ever want, and truth be told he has a special place in my heart.
Thank you so much for your prayerful consideration for my family... Psalm 136:1 "O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever"....God is good...all the time...
Lastly, I will share three songs that are very meaningful to me at this time...I know there are so many in this community that are hurting, and I hope these songs will minister to those who have broken hearts...
Joy Comes in the Morning... https://youtu.be/9_x7eCuk8NM?si=R7UfRbBvBjQ4sxKO
Hold on my child joy comes in the morning
Weeping only lasts for the night
Hold on my child Joy comes in the morning
The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight
God Will Make a Way... https://youtu.be/1zo3fJYtS-o?si=9CtUYGTR75yqjXs1
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way
And then...Little Flowers... https://youtu.be/i-PywSxurdo
Little flowers never worry
When the wind begins to blow
And they never, never cry
When the rain begins to fall
Though, it's wet and oh so cold
Soon the sun will shine again
And they'll smile unto the world
For their beauty to behold
So, let it rain, let it rain, let it pour
Let trouble keep on knocking at my door
If we'll learn the right from wrong
It will help to make us strong
So when the clouds begin to gather
And that old wind begins to blow
Little flowers don't complain
Though they're tossing to and fro
Well I guess I've learned the secret
That only little flowers know
If it never, never rains
Then we'll never, never grow
It's very difficult for me to have much sympathy for people who choose to drink and drive and then get upset about the consequences of those actions.
I was hit by a drunk driver the summer after graduating high school and it has impacted my life horribly. I almost lost a leg, have had metal pins and rods placed in it and have had around 9 surgeries on it over the years, and I still need more. I've had to have my hip replaced because of complications from limping for so long on that leg.
I'm 46 now. I've been dealing with chronic pain from that car wreck for almost THIRTY YEARS. Add to that both short term and long term memory problems from head trauma and neck and back problems caused by the wreck.
I had to delay going to college because of being in the hospital and then going through re-hab. I was a scholarship student before the accident and after it I have trouble remembering simple things. The career I was hoping for before the accident never panned out because I couldn't handle the academic courses because of my memory problems.
The money I got from the accident barely covered the hospital bills from the first hospital stay. It certainly hasn't paid for all of the additional surgeries, hospital stays, doctor visits, physical therapy, or medication costs I've had after that. I would estimate that all of those have cost me around $100,000 over the last 30 years just in co-pays.
That doesn't even touch on the quality of life issues I've dealt with like having to cope with living with chronic pain for decades. And unless you've dealt with chronic pain and the issues surrounding it, you really can't understand how debilitating it is. I've missed out on so much of my children's childhoods because I was hurting too much to play with them, or go for walks, or kick balls, etc...
So it's never as cut and dried as "Oh, they got money from the accident so they'll be fine."
At least I never had to deal with having to listen to the drunk driver who hit me complaining about having to spend a few months in jail because he died at the scene. So thank God for small mercies, I suppose, because if I had to deal with listening to him complain about having to serve a few months for essentially ruining my life, I'm sure I would have been homicidal.
So, yeah, that's why I think it's in bad taste to complain about having to serve a few months for hurting others and endangering lives of innocents for choosing to drive drunk. I don't care how much anyone tries to rationalize it, it's just the epitome of self-centeredness and disregard for the lives of others.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. 🤷♀️
Never forget that His Grace is sufficient. God's plan for you is still there, regardless. It's His plan that works, even evil, into the majestic accomplishments that are to bring Him glory. Prayers that you may find His plan for you.
I want you to know that neither my daughter nor I are asking for sympathy from you or anyone else. She pleaded guilty and is more than happy to pay for the consequences of her choices with incarceration. She acknowledges her guilt and wants nothing more than to learn from her mistake, pay the penalty and to get through this season of her life. The fact that this is a difficult time for her is not diminished because you suffered so at the hands of a drunk driver...I have no idea why there is any pain and suffering in this world, except to say the Bible states there will always be trials and tribulations and we don't get to choose what we are asked to bear in this life...that is solely the realm of God.
I am very sorry to hear your story...it is tragic on many levels, but a couple truths stand out...God's grace is sufficient...I think of people that have overcome obstacles and are able to bask in the grace, mercy and love of the Lord are the ones who are richly blessed to experience that grace, mercy and love in so much more abundance. I know there is anger and bitterness about what you have suffered...and granted it is justified.... but God is enough and allows us to forgive so that we can rise above the negatives and learn to praise Him despite our trials. Charles Stanly wrote a wonderful book on forgiveness that you may enjoy reading. Forgiving is one of the most freeing things we can do for ourselves.
My prayers are with you and your family...nothing is cut and dry...despite extenuating circumstances, choices are made that often affect many others...this is the nature of humanity...but we have someone that shares our burdens and loves us despite our bad choices and mistakes...forgiveness by God is a wonderful thing and forgiveness by man is nothing more than an act of God through man...
I pray that you find the peace that passes understanding and are able find God in the midst of your circumstances...I have a friend that suffers in constant pain, and it is hard to live that way, believe me...I do understand...but she radiates confidence and a love for God which becomes a blessing for those that know her.