TBH. Having thought about it. I’m willing to bet a few things.
The complete total refusal to talk about our problems in general with anyone including friends. Is at least partially a comparatively recent unspoken adaptation to Men’s social nets steadily shrinking in recent decades and becoming increasingly less close. From I wouldn’t hesitate to help this man bury a body or back him up in a fight if he asked. To we meet up for beers a few times a year and don’t talk about anything in particular.
Though I think there’s very much a lot of unspoken communication that goes on between men’s social groups. Though that’s purely from my outside observation of my father and his friends meeting up. One of them was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Hadn’t breathed a word of it to his buddies. Yet they knew something was up and pried it out of him after a few beers. They might be an exception, being particularly close and having grown up together, rather then a rule. I’m not sure on that front. I’m on the spectrum so I’m probably not approaching this correctly as I’m mostly talking from the perspective of observing people around me when I’m out doing stuff or at work.
There used to be Non-Masonic Fraternal Lodges and Orders. As well as various Men’s clubs, guilds, and associations out the wazoo at the turn of the 20th century. Including among the lower class working poor. While I can’t say for certain. I’d bet they served a purpose beyond simply being a place to network as is the typical explanation now. Or there likely wouldn’t have been so Damn many of them.
And it’s true Men don’t generally do the touchy feely directly talk about our problems/feelings kinda conversation. I worded it rather poorly when I said it that way. I was more so referring to just the unspoken support one could get from having people in the same boat you are to talk to. Just Average Joe trying to make his way in the world.
Even if it’s just talking about the weather, bitching about prices, getting advice about a hobby, or a DIY Home Improvement project or some other just trivial small talk kinda topic. Or even just the simple pleasure one could derive from having a place to belong to and visit that wasn’t explicitly related to one’s responsibilities at work, at church, or to their family.
I think church was also another club that serve a good purpose. I am glad you are summarizing this very beautifully. Just like I said, many do not want to talk about their problems no matter what.
Good summary.
You also know that most men don't like to talk about their problems no matter which kind, right?
TBH. Having thought about it. I’m willing to bet a few things.
Though I think there’s very much a lot of unspoken communication that goes on between men’s social groups. Though that’s purely from my outside observation of my father and his friends meeting up. One of them was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Hadn’t breathed a word of it to his buddies. Yet they knew something was up and pried it out of him after a few beers. They might be an exception, being particularly close and having grown up together, rather then a rule. I’m not sure on that front. I’m on the spectrum so I’m probably not approaching this correctly as I’m mostly talking from the perspective of observing people around me when I’m out doing stuff or at work.
And it’s true Men don’t generally do the touchy feely directly talk about our problems/feelings kinda conversation. I worded it rather poorly when I said it that way. I was more so referring to just the unspoken support one could get from having people in the same boat you are to talk to. Just Average Joe trying to make his way in the world.
Even if it’s just talking about the weather, bitching about prices, getting advice about a hobby, or a DIY Home Improvement project or some other just trivial small talk kinda topic. Or even just the simple pleasure one could derive from having a place to belong to and visit that wasn’t explicitly related to one’s responsibilities at work, at church, or to their family.
I think church was also another club that serve a good purpose. I am glad you are summarizing this very beautifully. Just like I said, many do not want to talk about their problems no matter what.