I posted here previously about my hardships.
Ya'll, I'm working a full time job and a part time job to make ends meet. I'm gone from 7 am until 8-9 pm. By the time I get home my child is getting ready for bed (having spent the day with her Mom). She wants to play with me. It crushes me. She asks to stay up and play games with me and occasionally I do, but it ultimately wipes me out. Usually I have to get home, eat my food, take a shower, go to bed within 30-40 minutes.
I am so burned out.
If she asks to play, at least 50% of the time I say yes because I of course love her and want to spend time with her and I know she needs that. But when I do, it adds even more exhaustion to my plate. I feel like I never have any time to myself - maybe a few hours on a Sunday. We always spend time on the weekends. I should mention that she's extremely needy and often it's like "What? We just went to the water park two days ago and had the whole day together!" I don't know what more to do. I feel like I can't make her happy. I can't make myself less exhausted. Can't make enough money. This economy sucks.
I keep praying, keep leaning on God, keep meditating, keep listening to scripture, read scripture with her, ... I dont know what more to do. I don't even know how i'm going to make it through this work week, honestly. I keep falling to my knees in prayer. God please pull me out of this or give me the wisdom to learn what you're trying to show me. Please pray. Sigh.
My dad was busy as hell trying g to feed us. What I remember the most were the Saturday couch potato moments watching Tarzan and the times he would sit me at the kitchen table for half an hour and just talk to me. He also slept on a cot in a tent all summer at a campground and went to work from there just so we could be at a lake all summer. Those times we sat around a campfire on Friday amd Saturday nights. He passed at 59 y.o.