Hello GAW Tribe...
Though we all have gathered here from different places, different races, different religions...
One factor I've witnessed close to my 6 decades on Mother Earth is that one's family is truly Everything...
In this life, and the next.
As a Minister for the past 26 years.. This month I celebrated this decision once again.
Many that I've known in our Church Tribe appreciate ' family ' where ever it, and they happen to be.
Wither by blood, work, friends one can find Family, or their collective Tribes as I have recently been calling them.
I share all this cause today is a special day in what's left of my Family Tribe..
Only my beloved Mother, 2 older brothers and their family is what is left here on earth.
As a son, it's never, ever easy to lose a Father. I speak, share that life with him was difficult at times due to his issues with drugs, alcohol.
All within my family had been abused by him, mostly emotional and thankfully limited physical abuse.
He has been fully forgiven.
Not only hurt people, hurt people they also bleed upon their Loved ones thru themselves being victims of similar unhealthy means to cope with life.
Though, growing up my father and I often butted heads. Unsure where I got my resolve and fortitude to stand up to him, as the youngest in my family.
One time he was in one of his alcoholic rages and started to beat one of our dogs....
I was less than 8yrs old, cause we recently moved into a home my parents bought.
I moved into btwn them. As a child spoke with a boldness that shook my father's core, he shared this decades later when he got sober.
I said with tears streaming down my face, " Poppa!! POPPA !! STOP IT.. Why are you hurting those you Love ??"...
Though his face, his eyes had rages of darkness I could realize at that age my words stopped him briefly.
He said..." Who in the Hell do you think you are, speaking to me like this !!!"
He brought up his hands to strike me
" I said, Poppa I'm sorry you have pain. You will not hit me now ".
I feel that there were ' others' from Heaven with me. Cause his eyes got big... just stared at me, looked defeated, walked into the garage and wept.
This was finally discussed during His sobriety. Made amends.
I share all this to realize that though it might be EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to Love our Family, especially if they chose to act ' less than '.
They are broken, wounded, as a victim themselves. Definitely not saying this to allow such behaviors to happen.
Today would have been my beloved Poppas 80th birthday.
I'm grateful for him to heal as much as he could, help heal our family before he returned back home.
Family is truly everything... In this life and next.
Thank you for allowing me to share my love, understanding here with my current beloved Family Tribe.
I read your story and i cried from empathy and also because it's so close to my own life. My dad was a weekend alcoholic and his dad also. they were both violent when drinking. My brother and I learned to go to bed with our regular clothes on when it was the weekend because we never knew if we might be running outside to get away from him in the middle of the night and sometimes in the winter here it can be 20 below zero or even colder. I had nightmares into my forties. I am the youngest (and female) and I was the only one who would even attempt to stand up to him. He said he was going to throw me out the window once and I told him " make sure you kill me because if you don't, you will never be able to sleep again safely." He stared at me and I didn't blink and he walked away and never threatened me again and never laid another hand on my mom. My mother passed away the last day of July 2014 and my dad was alone. He was getting forgetful but I couldn't help him I was so angry. Within a year I separated him (in my mind) into 2 men. The man whome I hated and the man who took me fishing, the man who taught me to love nature, the man who would look at me with sympathy when my Mom would take out her unhappiness on me. So the man I hated and the man I love became 2 people in my head. I took care of him for years as he got weaker from onset dementia. He is in a Manor now and it kills me to see him so fragile. I love my dad. I truly do. And I forgive him.