I don't know what to do anymore. I have been unemployed for six months. I have applied for hundreds of jobs and I start a part time minimum wage job soon. So I cashed out my 401k to get a car to get to said job, but that broke down 3 days later.
My family thinks I am lazy so they don't want to give me rides anymore. I tried to walk to get groceries but that's exhausting, I have four young kids we need a lot of stuff.
I built my dream home on the family farm so I have almost no bills. But I don't know what to do. I just feel hopeless. If I move to a job I would have to pay thousands more a month for rent but I am broke. My husband is deeply depressed so he definitely can't help with anything. My family wants me to kick him out and marry a rich guy but that seems like a terribly immortal thing to do.
I've always believed that when God closes a door he opens a window but I can't find a way out of this.
I dealt with, and still deal with deep depression. I went a time without working and was in a worse situation than you describe, but I'm going to be blunt and gentle at the same time about your husband; hes got to get to work. For my first 4 months after starting my job, that was about 3 months before my traumatic event I clawed and literally cried my way through each day at work. I stayed up all night in panic and having episodes. I stayed so anxious and indecisive on my jobs that I would constantly have flashbacks and tremors. But I pushed and I pushed, and I'm still pushing. I'm still really messed up, but not as bad as I was.
I learned how to fight fire with fire, the stress of the job ironically misdirected the immense pain I am going through. Hell I didn't even want to start the job, but I knew unless I was ready to sell my home, in an economy knowing I won't find anywhere else to go, I had no choice but to go work. Before this, i was in the hospital, I isolated myself away from family. I practically lived like I was homeless, I didn't even go inside my own house for 5 months since I knew she wasn't there any more and God has her, staying at hotels and camping outside in a tent, with nothing but a bottle of liquor, smokes, and a small fire. I couldn't cut my own grass, went without bathing, barely ate (I lost 30 lbs and I'm already a thin person), and went into a lot of debt. I know the pain.
But he's gotta get to work. A job where he's working outside, constantly moving, where he doesn't have enough time to focus on the pain. And you should probably stay home and focus on the children. Y'all are in a much better position than you realize, please don't get to where I was. I don't wish this pain not even on my greatest enemy.