"Yes hello, police...yes, someone stole my ether chits...my bit nuggets...my zeros and ones...my soi credits... Well, it was a virtual wallet....No, not leather or Velcro"
"Calm down sir, can you give us a description of robbers? No? Can you give us a description of the items 'allegedly' stolen? What did they look like? What color were they? What is the length, width and height dimensions? How much does it weigh, approximately? Please draw a picture of said stolen items so we can identify them... What do you mean that's not possible? Sir, need I remind you that pranking the police is a misdemeanor?"
"Yes hello, police...yes, someone stole my ether chits...my bit nuggets...my zeros and ones...my soi credits... Well, it was a virtual wallet....No, not leather or Velcro"
"Calm down sir, can you give us a description of robbers? No? Can you give us a description of the items 'allegedly' stolen? What did they look like? What color were they? What is the length, width and height dimensions? How much does it weigh, approximately? Please draw a picture of said stolen items so we can identify them... What do you mean that's not possible? Sir, need I remind you that pranking the police is a misdemeanor?"
🙄🙄🙄
...you have a firm grasp of the situational reality...