“Trump didn’t get hit with a bullet, it was a little piece of glass from a teleprompter, okay - well, fine, the teleprompters were in mint condition so okay, fine, but it still wasn’t a bullet, it was just SHRAPNEL from a bullet, a little teeny tiny piece of shr - okay, no, that’s not a thing, forget that, what it ACTUALLY was - it was fake blood, see, like from a squib, and what he did was actually nothing, because none of this even happened, bullet? shooter? as if! There was nothing. Nothing happened.”