I am with you. I like to be able to just hit the road whenever. I like going out on a fishing boat and jet skiing but I am not an ocean person. I like lakes or lazy rivers. Seen to many idiots get themselves killed in the Ocean or fast flowing rivers.

free booze

Clearly...you HAVE never been on a cruise. :)

Stories I hear from friends who take cruises put me off the idea even more than I already was (which was zero to begin with).

One couple booked a luxury cruise then after boarding/leaving port realized that all sorts of redecoration/construction had just been completed...and was still underway, WHILE UNDERWAY, in another part of the ship. The gal was passing out from the smell of carpet glues, offgassing fabrics, paint, caulk, etc. They were offered to get off at the first port they came to, but no refund and had to pay their way home. She had chemical pneumonia for months after that.

Another couple got trapped on their ship for a couple weeks after an outbreak of some tropical dysentery thing that the local health officials thought was Mongolian Whatever Rot (I don't remember what they thought it was, just punting here). I opined that the health officials were trying to get payola from the ship owner or something. Then the air conditioning stopped working.

Another couple inadvertently hit a spring break cruise. The guy literally fell on his ass in the hall one night, slipping on the floor which was covered with puke (approx the same color as the carpet pattern, he observed).

A retired gal we knew claimed that everything they served in the "luxury" food line was bagged preprepared stuff from Cisco.