I am sorry for your loss - I know what you went through. My wife was pregnant with twins. We even got to hear both heartbeats early on. The multiple ultrasounds showed 2 fetuses just starting to grow.

We knew very early because we went through infertility treatments at Bethesda Naval Hospital (now I think it is all Walter Reed?). I was active duty Air Force at the time. They drilled about 60 holes in her ovaries to interrupt whatever was going on, and once they healed we had a 6-week window to try to get her pregnant. We ended up having to use IUI (not IVF) and it worked. When we saw twins we were ecstatic - they run in my family.

Unfortunately she started getting really sick and the ultrasounds showed one of the very tiny fetuses getting smaller and smaller. The heartbeat went away and the doctors insisted she have a D&C. She refused because it would kill the other one.

Fortunately the one that died was somehow absorbed or dissolved - or whatever the term is. She stayed sick the remainder of her pregnancy, with a lot of time alternating between being in the hospital or me driving her to every military clinic in DC to get her tanked up on fluids every other day. That worked too.

She had a healthy baby girl who is now getting ready to get married.

By the way, my wife never told me they tried to get her to do the D&C until just a few weeks ago. The doctors told her she could die if she didn't abort. She didn't want me to have to make that decision so she made it alone.

I still think about the twin. When the doctor told us she was pregnant I told him it would be a red-haired boy and a blonde-haired girl. He said at the time it was too early to even see if it was twins. When the ultrasound showed it was he was flabbergasted and asked how I new. I told him I dreamed about it the night before he told us she was pregnant. I've had visions all my life whenever someone really close to me was sick or dying, so this one freaked me out.

My daughter is 28 now. She was born with blonde hair.