Maxwell's Silver Hammer:

Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical

Science in the home

Late nights all alone with a test tube, oh, oh, oh, oh

Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine

Calls her on the phone

"Can I take you out to the pictures, Joa-oa-oa-oan?"

But as she's getting ready to go

A knock comes on the door

[Chorus]

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer

Came down upon her head

Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer

Made sure that she was dead

[Verse 2]

Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again

Teacher gets annoyed

Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene

She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away

So he waits behind

Writing fifty times "I must not be so, o, o, o"

But when she turns her back on the boy

He creeps up from behind

[Chorus]

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer

Came down upon her head (Do-do-do-do-do)

Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer

Made sure that she was dead (Do-do-do-do-do)

[Verse 3]

P. C. 31 said, "We caught a dirty one"

Maxwell stands alone

Painting testimonial pictures, oh, oh, oh, oh

Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery

Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free)

The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-o

But as the words are leaving his lips

A noise comes from behind

[Chorus]

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer

Came down upon his head (Do-do-do-do-do)

Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer

Made sure that he was dead

[Outro]

Whoa, whoa, whoa-oa

(Do-do-do-do-do)