Wow fren that's awesome you read the Bible. I have a couple jw frens. They definitely get out there and preach what they believe. I give them props for the boldness. I also think they miss the mark on Jesus and can potentially mis lead people. So just be on guard.

Fren I can 100% relate to this very much. I was addicted to meth and heroin for 10 years before the Lord found me. I don't wanna come off as excusing the addiction because truly it's something I know deep down u wanna break free from. I do understand that battle though. Just know that we don't have to get clean to approach the Lord. The Lord sees the heart. I spent a year after Jesus found me still getting high. Hating myself. The Lord used it all for his glory.

Being lost is actually a good place. We must give up our understanding and make room for his. Jesus loves you dearly fren. He has plans for you. He wants to clean you up and make you new each day. Later by later.

So take the focus off your own sin for a second and put it on him and his perfection. I encourage you to keep reading your Bible and working to build a habit of prayer. I don't know if I am overstepping with this next though but here I go. Feel free to PM me if you wanna set up a call sometime and we can talk. No pressure but if u need someone I am here and willing to call, text, continue in Private message or continue here. Just wanted to throw the option out there.

Praying for you fren. Much love. Jesus loves you