I’m going to be a broad for six months. How will I ever learn to dance backwards in heels without total immersion? At last I’ll be able to throw off the shackles of social conventions and accountability. I’m in a wacky mood tonight. Think I’ll go get a tattoo and some facial piercings to commemorate the event. What do you think? Blue hair or shave it? Best go half and half…. Why commit? Blue fringe with the top shaved. Don’t you dare question my choices, or ask me out for coffee. I love you. I hate you. Marry me. I wanna divorce. Just kidding ladies, but why anyone would chemically and surgically alter themselves to join your ranks, even as an ersatz version is beyond my comprehension. Guess I’m just as dumb as I look. Gimme that guitar!