First I wanna say thank you for sharing your walk, keeping it true to how it feels, yet still praising God (that you found Him) , keep up the good work fren.

Its a mix of a few things (from my experience), yes the enemy will tempt and try to get you away from God, but there are also things He allows us to go through to grow, its not Him doing it but if there is pressure and heat, you are being refined like silver till you can reflect His image better. Even with all that. The work, while looking like a lot is lighter because we can ask for His strength through hard times. His yoke is lighter.