Dear HOA,

I apologize for leaving my hose across my driveway for 2 days in a row due to the drought we are having and maintaining my lawn to prevent being fined for dead grass.

I, however do not agree with the fine of X dollars imposed for this infraction. I do not believe the neighbors property values were affected by this amount and do not appreciate your self-assessed property valuations as related.

I am sure a court of law will agree with this evaluation of your impropriety and will of course abide by their judgement.

As a result of said impending legal proceedings, consider my HOA dues to be taken out of court costs.

Sincerely, Never paying you a dime for the next 10 years you obnoxious self-important crazy a** mother f***ers.

Feel free to use this as a template for correspondence to your local HOA. No copyright is or will be claimed.

And, yes, our HOA will fine you for a garden hose left across the driveway for an "extended" period of time... Crazy a** mother f***ers.