Gotta get this off my chest....

So my dad died this thanksgiving. Respiratory failure. He was a hard line Republican, big trump fan, and retired from the usaf, but decided that he should stay in his mountain home with copd and not go to lower altitudes. It's kind of a miracle he lasted this long, but I wanted him to see so much more from me. That said, it was quick and probably painless, according to the coroner at least.

I'll be in CO for a few months at least sorting out his affairs. Then... Well, we will see.

2025 has been a bit of a shit year for me tbh personally. My mom threatened suicide at least once, my last pet died, my wife's dad had multiple heart attacks and though alive is still not 100% right, my own health went in a tailspin and my wife's seems to be doing a bit shit too, and I haven't been able to find work for the entire year. Those are just the highlights, as it feels like shit keeps hitting the fan for me. Now this.

Feels like every 4 years some new fresh form of hell gets unlocked. 4 years ago my first wife died suddenly in every meaning of that term. Four years before that, my house went up in flames. Sure financially it worked out for me each time, and will likely do so again with this, but I'm so tired of tragedy and misery knocking on my door over and over again.

Thing is, I can't stop, even though what I want to do is just curl up and fall apart. Gotta stay strong, otherwise everything else will crumble around me. But I just wanted to give him a grandkid before he went. I wanted him to be able to read the book series I've been writing.

Sorry. I know people out there and here probably have it worse than me. I'm just down, and rambling a bit. Tbh I really hope some good shit happens next year, cuz I can't wait for this year to end already.