This is the funniest financial column I've read in a long time. Includes some good-natured bad language.

https://quoththeraven.substack.com/p/ive-reached-peak-lobotomized-consumer

There’s a very specific kind of financial confession I’ve had to make to myself recently.

I see charges pop up on my phone’s home screen on various credit cards all the time. A lot of times they just say “Apple” or “Amazon.” No details. No explanation. Just a clean, confident withdrawal from my account like I’m renting air to breathe from both of these companies. And like a good American lobotomized consumer, I do absolutely nothing about it.

I don’t investigate. I don’t even tap for more information. I just stare at it for half a second, nod internally, and think, yeah that feels right. Then I keep scrolling like I didn’t just get billed by a corporation with the transparency of Area 51.

At this point, I have to admit something. I have fully surrendered to Amazon and Apple. Not in a dramatic way. Not in a conscious, principled decision. More in the slow, quiet erosion of resistance. Somewhere along the line, I stopped being a person who tracks purchases and became a person who assumes all unexplained charges are probably valid. I’m the opposite of the assholes who subscribe to my blog, download the content they want, then contest the charge with their credit card companies.

And hey, if a random company hit my card like this, I’d immediately spiral. I’d be calling my bank, questioning my entire digital security setup. But when it’s Apple or Amazon, I assume the problem is me. I must have done something. Bought something. Subscribed to something. Needed something. Movie rental. NFL Thursday night football. Cascade brand dishwasher detergent. AppleCare. Prime subscription. Recurring donation to feed starving children I signed up for at Whole Foods.

Who the fuck knows? The point is, I don’t check. I accept. Getting older. Brain functioning less. Surrendering more to Skynet. Arguing with my Apple HomePod about why it can’t accurately tell me what day it is, assuming the faceless, brainless, soulless machine is going to reason with me and respond accordingly. I am drifting toward Idiocracy.

I used to think strong business models were about margins or scale or innovation. Now I’m pretty sure it’s about getting to a place where I can’t even be bothered to ask why money is leaving my account. Both of these companies have built systems that feel less like products and more like default settings. I didn’t just buy into them. I live inside them. My storage, my shopping, my entertainment, my random late night decisions, all quietly routed through pipelines I no longer examine.

Each individual charge is small enough to ignore. That’s the trick. Nothing ever feels big enough to question, but somehow it adds up to a steady stream of money leaving my account with my full, passive approval.

There is no moment where I sit down and actively renew anything. The decision has already been made for me by a past version of myself who clicked “subscribe” once and then disappeared. Now everything just continues, indefinitely, like a background process I forgot how to shut off…like how the Fed assumes inflation will work in the dark machinery of the night. And the worst part is, I’m not even annoyed about it. The charges could literally say “Apple — Kiss Our Fucking Ass”, and I probably still wouldn’t check on them.

I’ve crossed into that dangerous territory where the thought process is no longer “what is this charge” but “I’m sure it’s something I use.” That’s it. That’s the whole audit. So yes, this is an admission.

I am the ideal customer. I see vague charges from trillion dollar companies and simply assume they are correct. No questions asked. No follow up required. So congratulations, Apple and Amazon. You win. I surrender.