I am just feeling it on this Easter between the baby coming, starting a new career, coming back to Christ etc. this place helping me SO MUCH with my life.
It just sucks knowing I won’t have the time to contribute to this place anymore with the baby and going back to school.
Despite my last post I can’t leave here without confessing a major sin of mine. I have shit talked some of you beyond appropriate context. I have been hot headed and I am not proud of it. One of the things I am heavily working on fixing because I don’t want my daughter to see me like that.
So again I know things get passionate on here and heated so if you had an interaction like that with me I wanted to issue an apology if I went overboard. As I am becoming closer to becoming a father I have understood that I should speak to people how I would want them to speak to my daughter.
I am 32 years old and still learning about life. And I can’t leave here or come back to this place without addressing it.
Happy Easter and we will win because THE GATES OF HELL WILL NOT WIN.
I have sinned against some of you and I apologize. God bless you.
You sure are, and so is that little girl. You’re going to be a good dad, and a better man.
Heh, right there with you… definitely did all that and then some. Violent life, done time, sold drugs for a living. Not proud, but not ashamed. I am what I am, I like to think God knows what he’s doing lol.
When I started living right, and living HONESTLY (which was new for me), everything just fell into place. It was very obvious to me that God was just waiting for me to catch up the whole time, I’m not even kidding. I had met a lovely woman out here in TN that had lived a similar life but had changed, and we decided we wanted a family. But she told me she was incapable of having children. God had been so good to me since I started trying to love myself and others, so I just asked Jesus to hold my beer because I was doing the damn thing lol.
Here we are, with the most perfect, healthy little girl.
All those things about yourself that worry you, and you’re telling yourself I need to change this, I need to change that, it IS good that you are conscious of it and thinking about it, but once you have her, it’s like, not even a question or decision anymore, if you know what I mean. Like, instead of “I need to do this differently,” you’re just going to do it. Because it’s the right way to be a man and a proper father, and the innocent, beautiful soul you’ve created deserve NOTHING less than EVERY opportunity in the world.
I used to not even have feelings, dude. I was dead inside. Now… you know those people that always want to talk about their kid, and show you pictures, and you’re like, I don’t give a fuck, people are really annoying about their kids?
I…. I think I might have become one of those people.