First off this will be a long post with many grammar and punctuation errors. Please forgive me for that as I’m not college educated. So grammar police please try and understand.
This story goes back 25 years or more. My ex wife and mother of our only child a daughter was once a very successful broker in the financial system in the Midwest region at a time when men dominated the field her making a substantial salary, ten times that of mine in a blue collar union job at our home in California. We have owned and lived in some beautiful homes from Northern Virginia to California. We were living the American dream traveling abroad visits to Disneyworld staying at the nicest resorts. All the while she tried to portray me to her colleagues as someone who had substantial wealth in the wine industry because we live in a very prominent northern ca region. I should have seen the writing on the wall at this point but I chose to ignore it. At this point in time we had a young daughter and my only goal was to help foster her into the great women she is today.
Then I started noticing changes in my wife’s behavior small at first then became more noticeable. She was addicted to opiates, whatever or however she could get her hands on them from doctor shopping to whatever other means of cheating the system to get more drugs. At this point I had had enough and as much as I didn’t want to we went through divorce proceedings. That was close to 25 years ago. I have always kept in communication with her and have allowed her to live with me when she fell into dire straits. She has been to numerous rehab facilities from private upscale in Napa Valley to the worst of the worst in San Francisco. Nothing has changed.
My daughter who now has given me two precious granddaughters has not spoken to her since they were born. And wants nothing to do with her. This breaks my heart.
The ex wife has fallen into the hands of social services through outreach from being in homeless centers. Social services is a joke their personal seems to change every month and a new physiologist assigned. Then the cycle continues new physiological drugs administered. It’s a cycle that never stops. Due to HIPPA rules myself or my daughter can give no input through the health system to give any input on her past. The system is truly broken.
So as of today her new physiologist has her on Suboxone and she is once again living at my home. So am I too naive to believe somehow I can break this cycle should I just cut all ties and wait for the coroner to call with the bad news. I’ve tried to hold on thinking I can bring her back to once again have a relationship with my daughter.
Am I asking too much? Should I just let go? Thanks for any prayers or advice.
You can't help her, only she can help herself. 30 days in rehab then you don't allow her back into your home, you show her Oxford House Oxfordhouse.org where she learns how to live again. She can get methadone while she has help to find employment and learns to deal with her addiction. They're required to have a curfew on new comer status, make your bed, do a chore, submit to random UAs, attend some sort of recovery program.
She will be forced to regain her social skills, stay sober and will be watched by a bunch of addicts who know every lie in the book. About the time she gets 6 months sober she's going to have to work on her spiritual side to maintain it. This is the point to start considering Ibogain or DMT for a good look inside her soul. AA didn't work for me the first couple times too. I'm a severe alcoholic that had to hit rock bottom, most addicts do.
When you are finally willing to admit you're powerless over drugs and or alcohol and your life is unmanageable and you're ready to turn your life over to God or a higher power as you know it then your spiritual awakening and path to sobriety is possible. I've helped many people along their path and had a lot of help along mine from some really beautiful people.
The fact that I can walk into the liquor store and come out without any alcohol is nothing short of a miracle. I'm still helping Oxford guys get jobs and clean up their past. Just had one guy helping me build a foundation on a greenhouse yesterday who was shooting heroin, smoking fentynal and doing meth a year ago. He's becoming a productive member of society and a good father.
They say, "Don't trip over the dead on your path to recovery". I was close to drinking myself to death and have watched MANY "go back out" after years being clean and die from it. She's going to die from this if she doesn't get help. You should ask her if she wants to die from her addiction and when she inevitably says no you drive her directly to rehab. When she's sober for more than a week during a visit you give her the information about Oxford House. Explain that you cannot have her in your home until she has her problem under control.
She will lie, she will manipulate, she will steal from you. Addicts are a liability, don't risk your well-being and your effort until you truly believe she's changing and is going to give her recovery every ounce of her energy. DM me if you like, I'll help you out anyway I can. It's pretty fucked up to admit the subject I'm most qualified to answer questions about is either electrical work or dealing with addicts and addiction... KEK