I realize that this is tweet quote, but it is an example of how clause placement matters for clarity.
A man who works with leftist NGOs, threatened, in broad daylight in the streets of NYC, to have Nick Shirley ASSASSINATED.
Versus
A man who works with leftist NGOs threatened to have Nick Shirley ASSASSINATED, in broad daylight in the streets of NYC.
Number 1 is clearer. Number 2 had me wondering why the man insisted that the assassination take place in broad daylight on the streets of NYC. Surely there would be a more discreet time and place to off someone?
I realize that this is tweet quote, but it is an example of how clause placement matters for clarity.
Versus
Number 1 is clearer. Number 2 had me wondering why the man insisted that the assassination take place in broad daylight on the streets of NYC. Surely there would be a more discreet time and place to off someone?
Your first one gives the impression the man advocates assassination because he is threatened.
Dangling clauses and poor articulation abound in today's marketplace of rapid-fire writers.
Nick Shirley's tweet, especially by comparison, is much clearer: succinct and truthful.