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We're not attacking him at all. It's quite the opposite, really. We're all just jealous that he's such an accomplished intergalactic alien poon fiend and known across the galaxies as an alien playboy. Smashin poon across the stars is something us lowly folk can only dream of.
Kek.
HAHAHAHA
Internet quote of the day.
Kurt Eichenwald is so jelly of this Simon dude.